"What is your favorite color?"

The Radio fills the space inside my car.  Talk radio keeps me awake on these early morning trips.  It's only a short drive to the Ferry Landing.  Early morning fog makes everything familiar seem strange and distorted.  Someone on the radio asks, "What is your favorite color?"  "Blue," I absentmindedly reply to the person that isn't even there.  Up ahead I can see the parking lights of the cars in line through the fog. They are waiting for their daily chug across the river.  The Ferry is much faster than taking the bridge.  I know most of these commuters.  We are fast friends, I even know their names.  Mr. Brown Suit, Mrs. Skirt & Tennis Shoes, White Guy With Afro, Dude-Dude, it goes on and on.  I wonder what they call me?  Upriver a tug is pushing barges around.  The Rope Kid is about to let off the workers returning home from the night shift.  Yep, there he goes, taking down the rope so the cars can drive off.  Some deterrent, don't think that rope would stop anyone that wanted to drive off the end of the Ferry.  Our turn, I'm in line behind Mrs Skirt & Tennis Shoes.  She's quick and so am I.  Parked and ready to go, fog doesn't slow us down.  It's an old dance and I know it well.  Up the stairs to the Lounge.  I notice something unusual about the tug upriver.  I'll be able to see better from the front railing.  The Ferry's engines start up and with a little bump and we are on our way.  As I wind my way through my friends (the strangers with made up names), I stare hard upriver.  I can make out the Tug and I can see the deck hands running frantically around.  Too far to hear what they are saying.  I supply the dialogue to their little drama.  "OMG where did I put it?" "Over here it's over here."  "No that's the anchor rope, I need the magic rope so I can climb my way up to the clouds."  "It's over here, next to the treasure chest."  Funny, how easy it is to keep myself amused.  The Ferry is making good time in spite of the fog.  I guess the Tug has already finished with the barge, I don't see it anywhere. Beneath me, looming out of the gloom is the rusted metallic corner of the runaway barge.  It's rushing at the middle of the Ferry.  I spoke it's name and summoned it like a Genie.  In slow motion I turn and crane my neck up to the wheelhouse.  The Captain is staring straight ahead at the Ferry Landing on the far side.  Slowly I turn back towards the oncoming barge, a warning just behind my teeth.  I never make it all the way around.  I find myself on my side underneath a wooden bench.  It caught me like I was a ground ball bouncing in left field.  "Watch Out" finally jerks it's way out of my lips.  But I suspect everyone already knows something bad just happened to us.  Do you know what metal tearing sounds like?  I do.  I hear things hitting the water.  I'm kidding my self, 'things' don't scream on the way down.  It looks like some giant has karate chopped the Ferry right across the middle.  Self preservation finally bobs to the surface of my mind, LIFE VESTS!  Easy I know the answer to this one.  Two benches away is the white wooden box that is crammed full of Life Vests.  I brace myself as the deck continues to change it's horizon.  And I make it to the box.  Some are already gone, but there are a lot left. I have never seen anything as beautiful as these Life Vests.  I hand a couple to two people nearby clutching at railings trying to keep their balance.  More people down the slope of the deck need Life Vests.  I slide Vest after Vest down to those people.  I don't recognize any of them.  Mr. & Mrs. About To Go Into The Water.  I hope they make it.  I put my Life Vest on, snap the buckles and cinch it tight.  Yep, I love this damn Life Vest.  I toss the last couple of Vests into the water in case someone needs them.  Looking around I realize everyone has left, they are in the river.  I hook my dress shoes into the "V" of the railing and jump.  Cold!  The river is so cold.  It's OK, better than the alternative.  Only the tip of the front and rear of the Ferry are still above water.  You never know what's coming, you just do your best. 

I was wrong. 

It's not blue,

it's Orange...

(little over a year ago Tiffany and I traveled to Chicago, I loved that trip and I love that town)

THE INTERNET IS A WONDERFUL SUPRISING THING!

OK, call up your GOGGLE search engine, type in "Zulu Movie Pictures" and punch go.  The top middle picture is a link to this very journal.  The Internet is full of wonderful suprises...


David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~WORLD FAMOUS!

WEDNESDAY NIGHT

Sweet & Sour Pork + Survivor = Happy David!

I'm tired

It feels like someone dipped a round toothpick in glue nnd then rolled it in a coarse mixture (50% sand, 30% salt, and 20% finely crushed glass), let it dry, and then used it to prop open my eyelids.  Not kidding...

This weekend is Homecoming at MIZZOU.

I wish I could go see the Tigers play.  Being poor sucks, no wonder they revolt and cut off the heads of Royalty.  Speaking of French History based card games...

If you own this card game, then play it tonight with friends.  If you don't own this card game, then quick as a bunny, run out and buy it!  My favorite card game EVAR!  David<~~Grand Champion!

DAVID AT ARCHON!

Excused Duty!

Search & Exterminate!

Archon was fun.  I didn't spend much time there on Friday because I wasn't feeling up to it.  Saturday was a lot more fun.  Didn't drop in on Sunday, spent the day on my BRAND NEW LAPTOP! (Thanx Mom) My costume on Friday was "Excused Duty", and NO ONE GOT THE JOKE.  David<~~sad.  I had much better luck on Saturday, LOTS of comments and people loved guessing the captured animals I was hauling around (for the record: Tribble, Cuca Bug, Face-Hugger).  I loved walking down the hallway and someone smiling because they 'got it'.  I have already thought about next year's Archon and I think I'm going to enter the masquerade.  Think...

ENTS!

ARCHON PICTURES!

ARCHON PICTURES!

ARCHON PICTURES!

ARCHON PICTURES!

Funny thing happened on the way to Istanbul...

http://alhannah.com/products/me482.html
(in case you want to take her out for a spin)

LADIES & GENTLEMEN, Off World Productions is proud to present...

ARCHON 34!

It's not really tomorrow yet, just today part 2

I'm counting this entry as a Thursday entry because I haven't gone to bed yet.  Perfectly logical.  Today my best friend (you know him as Mailman)  brought me my Tactical Vest.  I wanted a XXL, but had to settle for an XL.  Little tight, if wishes were horses, even beggars would ride.  Giddy-up!  I also received my BIOHAZARD patch.  In a perfect world my best friend would bring me my Roarke's Drift t-shirt, Russian Naval Officers Watch and Bumble Bee Ring.  No chance I'm going to get my American Flag Patch in time.  I may still get the mollee pouches, who knows.  I hauled my ill-gotten loot over to Tiffany's and she helped me assemble my Saturday Costume.  ::stares at myself in a hand mirror::  I look EXCELLENT in this costume.  Hopefully people get the jokes and references in my costumes.  I'll have pictures taken and post'm asap.  I still have to finish painting my Cuca Bug.  I have given up on the slung Shotgun, it's too much/heavy/I can't figure out how to attach the sling. Oy vey, que sera sera, put your left foot in...


David<~~~~~~~~~~~~tired puppy

HOW 'BOUT DEM RAMS?

LOL, woke up early worried about all the things I need to do to get ready for Archon.  FOCUS DAVID!  I'm trying my best NOT to spin my wheels and miss something I need to get done before tomorrow.  Miranda, I apologize in advance if I forget about my haircut appointment at 4pm.  Speaking of hairy monsters.  I have a bare spot on both sides of my face right in front of my ears.  I can grow stubby sideburns, and I can grow a beard.  They just don't get along so well.  Good news, let the sideburns grow and then viola!  Sideburns comb over!  Comb down?  Friday morning full beard.  Friday night...HELLO MUTTON CHOPS!  My Friday Night Hall Costume is ready to go.  TODAY.  TODAY.  TODAY my Saturday night Costume will be complete.  ::lights candles in front of my USPS shrine::  ::spins UPS prayer wheel:: ::stares at leaves in my teacup:: YES!  TODAY the last of my Saturday Costume will arrive. 

Or there will be blood...

NERD<~~~~~~~~~~~David!

I'm a hot mess...

OMGTHEBLACKBDU'SANDMYBLACK

LEATHERSEARCHGLOVESARRIVED!

This was the shipment I  was worried about.  So I tear open the box.  Kick off my boots.  Yank my smelly t-shirt off over my head.  Shuck my jeans.  Jump into my new BDU's.  Struggle into my new gloves.  The BDU's are uber comfortable.  The gloves are very thin mediums designed for sensitivity in body searches.   They barely cover my palm they're so tight.  I am so excited.  I dash into the bathroom to look at my new purchases in the big mirror.  They look great!  WOOO WHOO!  I'm dancing in front of the mirror, grinning my head off, when it hits me.  VILLAGE PEOPLE.

little bit...



David<~~~~hoping my Tactical Vest arrives tomorrow!

::blows dust from cover and slowly opens storybook::

Tif & Dave skip off holding hands down the path to Grandma's House, scattering Airsoft BB's all along the way.  MY what a big sewing machine you have Grandma!  The better to sew the epaulets onto your costume with my dear!  Tiffany, someones been ironing my patches!  And your little dog too!  WHOOPS, mixing genres.  ::SLAPS OWN FACE::  Nothing arrived in the mail today, but Tiffany & I did take some of my stuff that needed sewing down to her Mom's house.  We were going to borrow her sewing machine and sew our fingers onto my red velour robe, but Tif's Mom stepped in and professionally attached the patches & epaulets.  She also repaired a strap I had enthusiastically separated from it's home.  YAY Tif's Mom!  My Costume looks great.  The only thing I still need for my Friday Night Hall Costume is my Roarke's Drift tee that is still in transit from the UK.  I'm going to try and find a Union Jack tee shirt as a substitution (if necessary).  I'm still waiting for the Tactical Vest, BDU's, and Searchers Leather Gloves.  Tomorrow, definitely! 

David<~~~~~~~~~~FIRED UP!

ARCHON UPDATE@omg/cantbelieve.imdoing/this.com

I think the Mailman hates me. He used to shove all my mail down to the bottom of my mail box. Nothing says "I LOVE YOU" like a Birthday Card from Grandma folded over 5 times. But since I've started out on my eBay aDventure I see him all the time. A TON of stuff arrived today. The Mailman had to haul it down to my apartment. Five packages balanced in one hand. My Archon Costume Accessories ::bats eyelashes:: !  So the only major pieces I'm missing is: Tactical Vest, black BDU's, black leather Search gloves, Russian Naval Officer watch, Bee ring, various pouches and patches that if they are late it's OK.  Today my drop leg platform and holster arrived.  It's going to look cool as soon as I can figure out how to put it on correct.  The resin Cuca Bug skuttled into my life (cause haven't you always wanted a Cuca Bug?)  The golden fringed epaulets.  Ain't I fancy?  Biohazard temporary tattoos.  I'm going to put one on my neck.  I'm not White Trash, more like Beige.  Tune in at 10 to catch the David Whisker Watch!

PS:  I'm watching Late Night with David Letterman and I have this to say, "Katherine Heigl needs smooched."  Just saying...

Mrs. David Austin Smith

Second costume for Archon...

Think ALIENS + BLADE RUNNER + ENEMY MINE and you get the general idea.  I'm going as a NEXUS 12 Security Officer for a Xenomorph Lab on Haley's Hope who has a pet CUCA bug.  A quick read of the rules of the Convention, I have to have all weapons holstered/sheathed (which may suck considering the large shotgun I'm wearing on a sling around my neck) and no firing weapons allowed.  So I have to disable the three airsoft bb guns so that they cannot fire.  The USCM officer's pistol is solid resin so no drama there.  I even bought an universal sheath for my rubber knife.  My first attempt (and it seemed a good idea at the time) was to buy an inexpensive real knife set and just use the sheath.   Didn't fit.  So now I have this wicked hunting knife ::banjos playing::.  I'm hoping all the stuff arrives on time, I'm having trouble with the slim fit leather gloves and black BDU's.  The company I ordered them from is slow as ach eee double hockey sticks.  I'll add pictures when they exist...

UPDATE:  I managed to attach the 24th Regimental shako plate onto my pith helmet & I put the Weyland-Yutani sticker on the back of the swat riot helmet STRAIGHT and CENTERED!

"What is a CUCA bug" you ask?  Watch the beginning of the folloing video and you'll see a CUCA bug fall into a sandtrap and be consumed by it's predator.  That reminds me, LUNCHTIME!

David<~~~~~~~~NERD!

(BUT YOU KNEW THAT ALREADY DIDN'T CHA?)

First Year for ARCHON at Westport!

So this will be the first year that I'll be wearing a costume to the Convention!


Michael Cain from the classic movie ZUZU!

HERE IS THE LIST OF WHAT I'LL BE WEARING FRIDAY NIGHT:

1. White Pith Helmet with the 24th Gold Shako Plate
2. I'm growing Mutton Chops at this very moment
3. Red Terry Cloth Bathrobe with Gold Epaulets sewn onto the shoulders
4. South Africa War Medal
5. 24th Regiment Lapel Pin
6. Vintage 24th Regiment T-Shirt
7. Proper 24th Regiment Swagger Stick
8. Black Silk Pajama Bottoms
9. Black Slippers

I'm going as "EXCUSED DUTY"

I'll add pictures as soon as I have it all assembled...

David<~~~~~~~~~~~~NERD!

::bows::

BIKE UPDATE!

You get what you pay for. When you pay $150 for a Schwinn bicycle you don't get much. I love Schwinn design, they invented the Cruiser for crissakes! Just for you readers (HA! Read-ER, who am I kidding?) who haven't heard: DO NOT BUY A BICYCLE FROM SCHWINN! Here is what I have had go wrong with my bike so far:

SCHWINN'S FAILURES

1. Paid a Schwinn Dealer almost $700 and was made to wait a month and a half to finally find out from Schwinn they were never going to give me the bike I ordered.  Schwinn's Motto "Where Customer Service is #5!
2. Chain guard come loose while riding, that was interesting.
3. Improperly assembled wheel at the Schwinn Factory caused a flat front tire which ruined my ride.
4. Poorly designed saddle fails while I'm biking and has to be replaced. 

At this point I'm just waiting for the frame to snap in two or the high pitched squeal of the chain's failure to attract a pack of rabid dogs that rip off my legs and then devour them.  In case a Schwinn Customer Service Representative is reading this and doesn't quite understand, let me put it this way...SCHWINN SUCKS ASS!
My next bike (and sooner rather than later the way things are going) will be a Workman.  I'm going to give the boys at the Bicycle Factory some interesting challenges.  We'll see if they are up for it...

Imagine this...

PLUS this...

(I'm going to have them add a brushed metal panel filling up the upper portion of the bike frame)

I still have the LINDY fender ornament and the winged hubcaps after all ::shrugs::

I have a love/hate relationship with Schwinn (love the design of the 1955 Phantom Cruiser/hates Schwinn's horrid Customer Service)

IN SUMMARY

Nails on a blackboard
Exposed tooth nerve
Smell of burning hair
Schwinn customer service

(500) Days of Summer has been added to the list

I made a list of my favorite Romantic Movies on this Journal.  I just added a new entry to the list (not really, I'm too lazy to find the original posting).  Watching this movie makes me laugh and cry at the same time.  Having Zooey Deschanel in it doesn't hurt either.  I need to buy the soundtrack, I love her voice (check her out in ELF) "I'm singing, I'm in a store, and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!, I'm in a store, and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!"

(this is Zooey Deschanel and her music partner performing as She & Him)

EXTRA CREDIT:  This is a picture from the movie 9

If you haven't seen 9, turn off your computer and go rent it!

DAVID<~~~hopeless romantic nerdy music enthusiastic!

::snort::

YOU LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME...

• United States (US) 693  
• Australia (AU) 10
• Canada (CA) 8
• United Kingdom (GB) 3
• Croatia (HR) 2
• Germany (DE) 2
• Faroe Islands (FO) 1
• Japan (JP) 1
• Thailand (TH) 1
• Saudi Arabia (SA) 1

Shorty, Brando, Forest and Fez...

Brando Style Motorcycle Cap 

Forester Cap

Black Fez with Black Tassel

The people that know me, know that I love hats.  I always have.  As a child living in Kansas I wore an Australian Bush hat (mosquito netting, one side snapped up, the whole works) and ran around talking in a fake accent.  In both of my High Schools I wore a Trucker's cap that read "GO BIG BLUE".  The Manhattan Indians and the Junction City Blue Jays (bitter rivals) had the same Football Chants (::shrugs:: I was born under a lucky star).  Later in College it was a red Sailor cap at KSU.  I wore a bright orange/yellow/red plaid Pork Pie hat in Kansas and later also in Missouri (plaid is a good transitional pattern).  And I wore a Greek Fisherman's cap at Mizzou.  That brings us to Bill.  There will always be a soft spot in my heart for Marlin Fishing caps (you say tomato, I say Oysterman's cap).  It's lucky that I love them so, I currently own about 8 long billed caps.  When my original Marlin Fishing cap became too gross and worn out to continue wearing, I wore it for another two years.  Defiant Me, "I'll quit wearing Bill when he's framed under glass and hanging on my wall."  Be careful what you wish for...


Over the years people have commented on my hats and what wearing them means.  A frienemy quipped, "You are just trying to be different."  Some past associates commented, "Dave, you are kinda weird."  And long time friends have stated, "I can't imagine you without one."  And my reply to them all is, "YES!"  Flash forward to today:  It's early on Monday morning, I've just awoken.  I'm sitting on the sofa on my laptop and this is my wardrobe:

1. Yesterday's socks
2. Boxer shorts
3. Watch and Claddagh ring
4. Glasses
5. and Shorty

Shorty Said So

David<~~~~~~~~~~~Hat kind of a guy!

They say you never forget how to ride a bike

They lie.  I'm still wobbly when I ride.  I no longer have bicycle muscle memory.  When I was a kid riding my bike was like a Mongol guiding his long haired pony with his knees as he fires a compound bow at his enemies.  Now if I take ONE hand off of my handlebars I wobble like a drunk outside Larry Rice's Downtown Mission.  Every time something weird comes along, stick in the middle of the path.  Steel bar poking out of the middle of the bike path, it could be anything.  I have to really pay attention or I may wreck.  I'm talking about seriousily paying attention.  The afore mentioned stick was laying lengthwise in the middle of the path and when my front wheel hit it and rode up on it the stick started to roll sideways.  Yes, you see where this is going.  The first thing that travels through your mind is, "DON'T HURT THE BIKE, DON'T HURT THE BIKE!" The second thing is "DON'T HURT YOURSELF, DON'T HURT YOURSELF!"  By the way, I'm OK.  Nine year old Bike David wouldn't even recognize Forty Four year old Bike David.  I know it's just a matter of time in the saddle and I will regain my bicycle muscle memory.  Or (not kidding) I will die trying...

David<~~~~~~~~~~~thinks he is falling in love with GREENWAY