I'm watching SuperBad, I'm supposed to be packing for my Vacation tomorrow. This is a picture of a faerie that I drew on my first laptop using PAINT. I went to Arby's and got some dinner. Lots of potato cakes. 3 packages. I'm a potato cakes kind of a guy. Potato cakes are good, I'm pretty sure if that if Hamas had potato cakes, Israel would not bomb them. That is because potato cakes rule the world. They are the secret rulers of the world. There are handshakes you have to learn in order to eat potato cakes. Secret handshakes. I have to take Snooky over to Tif's sister's house. She is going to watch the D O G while I'm in Florida. I'm going to miss my dog. But I can buy potato cakes while I'm on vacation in Florida. They do have Arby's in Florida don't they? I hope so. Otherwise Israel might bomb Florida. Potato cakes for world peace. Tonight MIZZOU is playing in a Bowl Game. I have NO CLUE who they are playing or the name of the Bowl Game. I bet they sell potato cakes at the concession stands. That is because potato cakes rule the world...
David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~McLovin Potato Cakes!
This is me working on my Christmas Cards while visiting the Missouri Botanical Gardens on Sunday 12/14/08. Thoughtful pose...
Tif and I spent the afternoon at The Missouri Botanical Gardens. They had their Christmas Train Display set up, and any excuse to take pictures of toy trians is good for me (editor's note: As I type this my Gecko is walking across the front of her glass Vivarium, she's taking her evening stroll). I've uploaded a few pics I took to my Journal. The remaining pics (and that is substantial) I have loaded to my Webshots site. The link is at the bottom of this entry. I just finished watching "Liza with a 'Z', it's her TV Special from 1972, that lady can sing! I'm now watching 'CHICAGO', the musical with Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones and suprisingly Richard Gere. My dog SNOOKY is sitting next to me on the sofa. She is also watching TV. She is always 1 second away from wanting to play tug with her rope toy. Life is a Cabaret old chum, come to the Cabaret! I love musicals... http://community.webshots.com/user/davidasinstl
David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~can't sing but CAN DANCE!
Yesterday I was talking with the girlfriend on my way home from work and I ended up stuck in traffic at a dead stop near a train overpass and the passing train was SO LOUD. When the traffic started moving again I could see the train in my rear view mirror stretching car after car onto the horizon. I said, "That's why it was so loud, it's hauling coal, a huge long train FULL of coal". The girlfriend replies, "It must be delivering the presents for your Christmas Stocking" ::rim shot::
David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~loves me some Tiffany!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Zqizlkualc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jS0QC1m4SO0&feature=related
Tif bought us tickets to see MIZZOU play K-State this weekend for my Birthday (Go ME!). I am very fired up about seeing this game. I am off today and took SNOOKY to get her nails and hair done (she's currently wearing a bow that the ladies at PetsMart put on her collar), and shopped for a Kennel to board my dog at this weekend. So my D O G smells good and we are a go for MIZZOU! I am downloading a bunch of pictures I found on the Internet, I will take a BUNCH of pictures from this weekend's safari...MIZZOU RAH! MIZZOU RAH! TIGERS!
David<~~~~~~~~~never thought I'd be like this!
Date:
Sun, 12 Oct 2008 20:46:46 -0400
A Message from your Queen:
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
-----------------------
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
-------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
-----------------
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
----------------------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anythingmore dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
--------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
-------------------
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
-------------------
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
---------------------
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
---------------------
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
---------------------
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
--------------------
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
-----------------
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
---------------
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
------------------
God Save the Queen!
Just when you think AOL can't suck any worse, they go and prove you wrong. No one should ever have anything to do with AOL. Quite simply they are the worst and most incompetent Internet Service in the World...
Dear AOL Journals user,
We’re sorry to inform you that on Oct. 31, 2008, AOL® Journals will be shut down permanently. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
It’s very important that you save your Journals content before the shutdown. We're working on a way to easily move your Journal to another blogging service -- you can expect an email within the next week with more details about how to do it. We want the transition to go as smoothly as possible for you, so you’ll have two choices. You can either save your information manually and find another place to blog on your own, or choose to automatically transfer your Journal to a different blogging service we’ve selected.
In the meantime, please bookmark the People Connection Blog, where you can find out more about AOL Journals. You can also subscribe to the People Connection Blog RSS feed to stay informed about any changes. We’ll be updating the People Connection Blog often, so please check it regularly.
Thank you for your patience and understanding as we make this transition.
Sincerely,
The AOL Journals Team
DAVID<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Impressed at AOL's incompetence
Howdy faithful readers,
I am in Florida attending my National Store Manager's Meeting. We are staying at The Shingle Creek Resort in Orlando. Really nice place, I will take some pictures and post them here soon. The first night I walked out of my Hotel Room and forgot my camera and thought tonight is only Janet Evanovich no big deal, I don't need to run back and grab the camera. So... Sitting at Dinner Steve Riggio starts talking about how he loves this book and he needs our help 'Hand Selling' it this Holiday Season and why not bring the Author out on stage... And out walks Paul Simon to talk about his new book of lyrics for the Holiday Season. I could have shot myself. I have ALL of Simon & Garfunkel's Records. He is looking not so good nowadays, but I can't show you all a picture BECAUSE I DIDN'T BRING MY CAMERA TO THE DINNER! OK, enough self flaggelation. I did get pictures of Ted Turner and Raphael Saadiq last night and I will download them on my Webshots Album and put some on here too. Today is the Trade Show with the Author Signings so I will have more material soon... Wish me luck!
DAVID<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~no longer Camera-less!
My cat's name was Popeye, I rescued him in Columbia MO a long time ago. Someone had shot him in the eye and it had swollen up, hence his name. He was a good cat.
David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Misses my cat Popeye!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DAVID...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
(and many more................................................................................................................................)
(the original has sold, but I may get a print of it someday- DAS)
Last Night Tif and I hop into the car and motor across the street to Dairy Queen to grab some desert after the wonderful tacos Tif made for Dinner. We are just chatting away waiting in line at the drive-thru. When our turn comes to the Menu Board, I order two Buster Bars and Tif decides she wants a mini French Silk Blizzard. In a fit of onreiness I order extra 'silk' for the Blizzard. Much to my suprise, on the electronic Menu Board underneath the Blizzard order pops up this text: -extra French Silk .40. We started giggling and had NO idea what extra French Silk actually was, but I paid for it! Life is funny...
David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ONREY!
Here is a picture of a pretty volunteer at my Breaking Dawn Midnight Release Party!
(isn't she cute?)
DAVID<~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lucky Guy!
my little brother Mark and his son CONNER!
DAVID<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~happy Uncle!
ON A HOT JULY DAY, TIF & I DROVE TO...
Columbia Missouri! My old College stomping grounds...
Booches, a Billards Hall that sells the BEST Hamburgers!
When asked the secret of his success, the Cook replied,
"I never clean the grill" Gotta love Booches...
David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Nostalgic Sum Of A Beech!
