grinning like a fool, with my foot in the tank...

YOU CAN'T CATCH ME

by Mr. Chuck Berry
I bought a brand-new air-mobile
It custom-made, 'twas a Flight De Ville
With a pow'ful motor and some hideaway wings
Push in on the button and you will get a scene

CHORUS:
Now you can't catch me, baby you can't catch me
'Cause if you get too close, you know I'm gone like a cool breeze

New Jersey Turnpike in the wee wee hours
I was rollin' slow because of drizzlin' showers
Here come a flat-top, he was movin' up with me
Then come wavin' goodbye a little' old souped-up jitney
I put my foot in my tank and I began to roll
Moanin' siren, 'twas a state patrol
So I let out my wings and then I blew my horn
Bye bye New Jersey, I'd be come and gone

(chorus)

Flyin' with my baby last Saturday night
Not a gray cloud floatin' in sight
Big full moon shinin' up above
Cuddle up honey, be my love
Sweetest little thing I've ever seen
I'm gonna name you Maybellene
Flyin' on the beam, set on flight control
Radio tuned to rock 'n' roll
Two, three hours have passed us by
I'll be 2 dropped to 5:05
Fuel consumption way too fast
Let's get on home before we run out of gas

(chorus)


BIKE RIDING CHECKLIST:

1. Install new Cruiser Saddle on Meramec Jack - check
2. Install new dual kickstand on Meramec Jack - check
3. Throw work out clothes in washing machine - check
4. Can't wait & leave to go biking before work out clothes are done - check
5. Load Meramec Jack onto bike rack of Deerslayer - check
6. Load Public Image Limited into the 8-Track tape player - check
7. Rock out to P.I.L on the drive to the Greenway - check
8. Arrive at the Greenway and park Deerslayer - check
9. Tune Pandora Radio on the cell phone to the Chuck Berry channel - check
10. Install cell phone into bike speaker system of Meramec Jack - check
11. Unload Meramec Jack and dance in a circle like a little kid - check
12. Activate brand new Garmin to track bike ride - check
13. Take a swig of Gatorade - check
14. Tilt Shorty to a jaunty angle - check
15. Begin bike ride - check
16. ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM - check
17. Observe female Bluebird decide between two male Bluebird suitors - check
18. ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM - check
19. Slide in the mud while taking a turn way too fast - check
20. ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM - check
21. Startle a cute lady walking her dogs while I pass her on the trail - check
22. ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM - check
23. Take a swig of Gatorade - check
24. ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM - check
25. Appreciate the new mural artwork on the pumping station - check
26. ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM - check
27. Grin like a fool as I pass people on the bike trail - check
28. ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM - check
29. Finish off the last of the Gatorade - check
30. ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM - check
31. Climb the last little hill at the end of my ride - check
32. Load Meramec Jack back onto the bike rack on Deerslayer - check
33. Post something witty on Facebook - check 
34. Rock out to P.I.L on the drive to McDonalds - check
35. Read the paper while eating a double cheeseburger at Micky Dees - check
36. Be very very happy - check

David<~~~~~~~~~~~~Biking kind of a guy

"Shorty" (my porkpie hat)

4 inches of snow = no bike riding for David

I picked up my new Cruiser bike saddle tonight.  It's 10 inches across and feels like heaven.  I received a dual kickstand for my bike for Christmas.  When folded up it looks like pipes on a motorcycle and when down it keeps my bike from leaning.  Love it.  Tonight or tomorrow morning I will install the new equipment.  If the weather is semi-OK I may ride tomorrow and WILL ride on Friday fo show.  I shadowed the Meremac Greenway in my car today and checked out the bike trail's condition.  Quite a bit was completely clear and some of the trail is still under snow and ice.  Snow Snow Go Away, Blow On In Another Day (sing with me damnit)...

DAVID<~~~~~~~~~~~wants to ride my bike BAD!

"I don't like POLITIALLY CORRECT!"

Is usually followed by a rude and/or racist statement.  Why is that?  Why do people want to hold onto stereotypes and prejudices so bad?  Is being polite so awful?  Here's what I think...

BE NICE OR GO HOME.

DAVID<~~~~~thinks Racists smell like unplugged refrigerators after two weeks in the sun

Time Zone.....................................

WORLD DESTRUCTION

Speak of the destruction. (x3)

This is a world destruction, your life ain't nothing.

The human race is becoming a disgrace.

Countries are fighting with chemical warfare.

Not giving a damn about the people who live there.

Nostradamus predicts the coming of the Antichrist.

Hey, look out, the third world nations are on the rise.

The Democratic-Communist Relationship,

won't stand in the way of the Islamic force.

The CIA is looking for you.

The KGB is smarter than you think.

Brainwash mentalities to control the system.

Using TV and movies - religions of course.

Yes, the world is headed for destruction.

Is it a nuclear war?

What are you asking for?

This is a world destruction. Your life ain't nothing.

The human race is becoming a disgrace.

The rich get richer.

The poor are getting poorer.

Fascist, chauvinistic government fools.

People, Moslems, Christians and Hindus.

Are in a time zone still searching for the truth.

Who are you to think you're a superior race?

Facing forth your everlasting doom.

We are Time Zone. We've come to drop a bomb on you.

World destruction, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom!

This is the world destruction, your life ain't nothing.

The human race is becoming a disgrace.

Nationalities are fighting with each other.

Why is this? Because the system tells you.

Putting people in faceless categories.

Knowledge isn't what it used to be.

Military tactics to control a nation.

Who wants to be a president or king? Me!

Mother Nature is gonna work against you.

Nothing in your power that you can do.

Yes, the world is headed for destruction.

You and I know it, cause the Bible tells you.

If we don't start to look for a better life,

the whole world will be destroyed in a time zone!

Speak of the destruction. (x3)

Bad Boys Bad Boys...

No matter how bad you feel, at least you're not one of the ignoramuses being arrested on COPS...

David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~never been arrested!

(Knock on wood)

I'm falling apart

In 2004 I purchased my first computer and David was unleashed upon the Internet.  One of the first things I did was take some IQ Tests that I found on line.  I scored 138 (I answered the phone in the middle of the test) and 145, genius is considered 140 to 145.  Yesterday I took another on line IQ Test and scored 110.  I feel like a 110.  Slip sliding away, the nearer your destination the more you slip sliding away.  I'm sorry Paul if I butchered your lyrics.  I have a signed copy of Paul's book of lyrics, I should look that up.  Or I could use the Internet, and check the lyrics, down 35 pts but I can still punch keys on my laptop.  1000 monkeys on 1000 typewriters.  Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang viola Shakespeare!  The good thing about stream of conscious is at least I'm still conscious...

Sick and tired

(The following journal entry may hurt the feel-

ings of some Republicans and all Tea-Baggers)

1. The President of the United States is a black man, get over it.
2. If your fondest wish is for the President of the United States of America to fail then you are also wishing for United States Citizens to suffer at the same time.
3. It is not possible to sound sane while simultaneously complaining that our President isn't fulfilling his promises and working 24/7 to make sure he can't fulfill his promises.
4. Voting against every single Bill the Democrats put forth doesn't help anyone one but the heads of the Republican Party in their attempt to defeat the Democrats.
5. Unless you are a member of the top 2% of the Richest Americans, the Republican Party is working against your best interests.
6. The Republican Party spun off the craziest 10% of their party and named them the "Tea Party".
7. No member of the "Tea Party" has ever not voted Republican and are not an independent movement.
8. The Boston Tea Party was about "Taxation Without Representation" NOT "Taxation By People Who Legally Won The Presidency" (Reference point number 1).
9. The "Tea Party" didn't exist while the second President Bush was crazily spending us into a deficit, but only came to exist after a black man was elected President (you know which point to reference)
10. I want what is best for America and right now the Republican Party and their policy of 'Defeat the Black Guy no matter who it hurts' is not what is best for America

::shrugs::

My Mom sent this to me...

My Mother is the President of the largest chapter of AUSA in the United States.  The Saturday after Thanksgiving a ton of volunteers put a Christmas Wreath on every headstone in the Texas Veterans Cementary.  This is the Wreath on my Father's grave.  Here is a picture from the National AUSA meeting in DC from about a month ago.  Mom is just left of center in the front row. 

My Brother and I are also both members of the Central Texas/Ft. Hood AUSA Chapter (but we don't attend meetings because we live in states other than Texas).  Still it's a good organization, doing good work.

AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL!

BOARDWALK EMPIRE (subtitled: How I Love You So)

I need to ask you for something...

Dear Faithful Reader,

pleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleaseleavepleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASEpleasePleasePLEASE leave a comment after you read my journal entries.  That way I know who has visited this blog and what you think about what I've written.  There are no bad comments only posts without comments.

CHICAGO!

David’s Suprise Birthday Trip!

Courthouse Pictures Slideshow

the COURTHOUSE

MIZZOU 38 K-STATE 29

Tiffany managed to turn 250 Coke Reward points into 2 VIP tickets to the Touchdown Terrace to watch MIZZOU whoop up on K-STATE.  We received a parking pass, passes to walk the field prior to the game, free food and drink and a free program.  SCORE!  A little cold but a fun time was had by all.  Here are a few pictures, more can be found by clicking the link at the bottom of this post.

[MOR PIKTCHURS HUR! CLICKITY CLICK CLICK...]

DAVID<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~had fun with all

LAAY-dees and GINNN-till-men, tonight'smainevent. Is a CAGEMATCH!

DEVO  vs  Siouxie and the Banshees

Wednesday November Bike Ride

Hello Faithful Reader.  Today I'm wearing a red Marlin Fishing Cap, aquamarine blue striped short sleeved polo, khaki shorts, red argyle socks and blue bobo tennis shoes.  I"m ready to ride.  I love biking on the Greenway, as soon as I start pedaling I smile.  We have an Indian Summer here in St. Louis.  It's Nov 10th., 75 degree weather and the sun is shining.  I'm pedaling along the paved bike path next to the Meremac River and loving life.  The wind is blowing the last of the leaves from the trees.  I watch Orioles and other meadow birds dart in and out of the brush next to the river.  Glancing down I notice a bird's shadow on the bike path and it's flying very erratically and moving along the same direction as I am.  The shadow is faint and indistinct and it makes the bird look like it's tumbling out of the sky.  As the shadow darkens I realize that it is not the shadow of a bird but the shadow of a cluster of leaves spinning as they fall to earth.  The leaves are joined to a common spindly stem and they spin crazily as they fall.  I'm riding along staring at the pavement watching the shadow get darker, more distinct and rapidily approaching life size.  Then from above the bill of my cap the leaves suddenly appear and smash into their shadow.  End of the trail for the cluster of leave but not for me.  I pedal on. 


Come to find out every time I run the entire Greenway I don't bike 6 miles, I bike 9 miles.  Who knew?  I was just starting on the next 9 miles when I started having trouble with my right pedal.  By the time I turned around and make it back the short distance to by car, the pedal actually falls off as I pull up to the back of my car.  In case you haven't heard: 

DO NOT BUY A SCHWINN BICYCLE!

I'm looking at buying a new bike, one that won't fall apart.  So far Workman and Trek bikes are in the lead.  Here is what they look like:

Workman Cruiser!

Streamliner Cruiser by Trek Bicycles



Nobody expects...

I had forgotten all about The Bolshoi

David<~~~~~~~~is always dancing in his mind

Monday Morning Bootheel

I see the tall grasses springing up
between the ballast & wooden ties
as the railroad tracks
wind off into the distance
with a tin water tower
or a grain silo beside
and my heart pulls me

I know a quiet place
behind a house where
my great grandmother lived
put a penny on the tracks
and never found it again
but that didn't stop us
from looking
over and over
and I talk about it still

A bigger white house
with a wrap around porch
dominates the town
and dominates my mind
no longer in the family
but I know where
the box turtles hide
and old comic books
can be discovered
like hidden treasures
an olive drab duffel
hangs like a punching bag
dusty from the rafters
stuffed with
someone else's memories
it sways in a sunbeam
and in my mind

Why do I pine
for a place where
I never actually lived
only visited on holidays
and school breaks
but seemed magic
only good things
could happen here

The sound of early morning breakfast
and bad reception on late night TV
the taste of orange creamsicles
and the smell of fried bologna
all the old photographs
frame this in my mind
and in my heart
and I want to go
I want to go home



DAS

I was most excited to turn 18...

...so I could vote!

David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~NERDdom knows no bounds!

GET YOUR KICKS ON...

David<~~~~wants to bicycle the entire route!

MY NEW VIVARIUM!

• 3 1/3 CU FT EXO TERRA VIVARIUM
• DUAL LIGHT BULB FULL SPECTRUM LIGHT FIXTURE
• INFARED HEAT BULB AND FIXTURE
• MANGROVE BACKGROUND
• 2 MANGROVE SCENERY PIECES
• REPTI-BARK FILLED TUB
• LIVE PLANT FROM MADAGASCAR
• SMALL COCONUT HIDE
• MAGNETIC FOOD & WATER LEDGE
• LOTS OF BLACK RIVER ROCK
• TURTLE FILTER PUMP
• 2 GAL FILTERED WATER

Ta-da!

I've said it before...

and I'll say it again:

The Greatest Trick the Republican Party ever pulled off was talking people into voting against their own interests.

The Republican Party advocates for the richest 2% of Americans, the majority of Americans should look after themselves and vote with the Democratic Party. 

David<~~~~~~~~~~listened to Mamma Smith!

A buddy of mine posted this...

The title says it all...

I just noticed...

Of all the times I've watched Tom Hanks in CASTAWAY, I just noticed at the end of the film where he's trying to deliver "The Winged Package" to the Ranch house: he has a Wilson Volleyball in the passenger's floorboard.  Love this movie...

David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLIM BLUFF!

erm

What do these three things have in common?

Yesterday I did some maintenance on my bike in preparation for my ride.  I tried to install a seat post shock absorber only to find I'd purchased the wrong size.  My bad.  Next I removed the old pedals and replaced them with larger ones.  One pedal went on pretty well, the second only screwed in about halfway.  I broke the 1/2" socket attachment trying to screw the pedal in all the way.  Imagine the most mechanically handy guy you know standing next to you.  Now I'm the guy waving hello to you from across the street.  David+Tools=Nuclear Holocaust.  Just saying.  So I make sure the saddle in on straight and tight, the seat post is secure and then I'm off for my ride.  As I'm cruising around the parking lot of the bike trail I notice that two things are going wrong with my bike.  Since I purchased a Schwinn I'm used to things breaking from poor workmanship but this hits a little closer to home.  I notice a weird little wiggle in the pedal that is only screwed in halfway.  Ohhhh, the pedal is screwed in at a slight angle.  Silly David.  Also every time I turn left or right in the parking lot my saddle seems to move a little.  OK, 'seems to move a little' like hell, it moves ALOT!  No tools with me of course so I have a choice.  Go home and fix the bike.  OR.  Ride anyway.  Ha, I choose RIDE ANYWAY BABY!  So I'm off and it's not too bad.  When I get to the turn around point for a 2 mile ride I think, "It's not too bad I should ride a full 4 miles!".  Me and Custer.  Just saying.  So I'm about halfway through the next mile when I notice something.  As I pass people and say, "Hello", they all seem to be getting taller and Taller and TALLER.  And why are my knees almost hitting my chin as I pedal?  Ohhhh.  The perfect trifecta.  My seat post has now slid down to the lowest position possible and I'm reaching up to my handlebars.  So I'll paint you a picture of what I looked like yesterday riding my bike.  Imagine Festus from Gunsmoke straddling a sit and spin attached to a lowrider bicycle, and every time he pedals there is a hitch in his giddy-up.  Amused? 

I am at your service.

::bows::

The Moon looks beautiful tonight

It's a full moon, the night air is crisp and clean and I biked 4 miles today.


David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back in the saddle again!

HSUS is up to it's usual tricks

Prop B on the November ballot was written and promoted by the Humane Society of the United States.  It is another attempt by HSUS to over-regulate an industry that they dislike.  Part of their Animal Rights strategy is to make it too costly to be in any business that involves animals.  HSUS believes that animals are the equivant  to humans, and pets are really slaves.  You can't make this stuff up.  If you live in Missouri please read up on Prop B and vote against the HSUS's attempt to change the way we live.
::climbs down from my soapbox::

READ THIS:  http://humanewatch.org/

David<~~~~~~hates PeTA & HSUS

(icky icky things)

"What is your favorite color?"

The Radio fills the space inside my car.  Talk radio keeps me awake on these early morning trips.  It's only a short drive to the Ferry Landing.  Early morning fog makes everything familiar seem strange and distorted.  Someone on the radio asks, "What is your favorite color?"  "Blue," I absentmindedly reply to the person that isn't even there.  Up ahead I can see the parking lights of the cars in line through the fog. They are waiting for their daily chug across the river.  The Ferry is much faster than taking the bridge.  I know most of these commuters.  We are fast friends, I even know their names.  Mr. Brown Suit, Mrs. Skirt & Tennis Shoes, White Guy With Afro, Dude-Dude, it goes on and on.  I wonder what they call me?  Upriver a tug is pushing barges around.  The Rope Kid is about to let off the workers returning home from the night shift.  Yep, there he goes, taking down the rope so the cars can drive off.  Some deterrent, don't think that rope would stop anyone that wanted to drive off the end of the Ferry.  Our turn, I'm in line behind Mrs Skirt & Tennis Shoes.  She's quick and so am I.  Parked and ready to go, fog doesn't slow us down.  It's an old dance and I know it well.  Up the stairs to the Lounge.  I notice something unusual about the tug upriver.  I'll be able to see better from the front railing.  The Ferry's engines start up and with a little bump and we are on our way.  As I wind my way through my friends (the strangers with made up names), I stare hard upriver.  I can make out the Tug and I can see the deck hands running frantically around.  Too far to hear what they are saying.  I supply the dialogue to their little drama.  "OMG where did I put it?" "Over here it's over here."  "No that's the anchor rope, I need the magic rope so I can climb my way up to the clouds."  "It's over here, next to the treasure chest."  Funny, how easy it is to keep myself amused.  The Ferry is making good time in spite of the fog.  I guess the Tug has already finished with the barge, I don't see it anywhere. Beneath me, looming out of the gloom is the rusted metallic corner of the runaway barge.  It's rushing at the middle of the Ferry.  I spoke it's name and summoned it like a Genie.  In slow motion I turn and crane my neck up to the wheelhouse.  The Captain is staring straight ahead at the Ferry Landing on the far side.  Slowly I turn back towards the oncoming barge, a warning just behind my teeth.  I never make it all the way around.  I find myself on my side underneath a wooden bench.  It caught me like I was a ground ball bouncing in left field.  "Watch Out" finally jerks it's way out of my lips.  But I suspect everyone already knows something bad just happened to us.  Do you know what metal tearing sounds like?  I do.  I hear things hitting the water.  I'm kidding my self, 'things' don't scream on the way down.  It looks like some giant has karate chopped the Ferry right across the middle.  Self preservation finally bobs to the surface of my mind, LIFE VESTS!  Easy I know the answer to this one.  Two benches away is the white wooden box that is crammed full of Life Vests.  I brace myself as the deck continues to change it's horizon.  And I make it to the box.  Some are already gone, but there are a lot left. I have never seen anything as beautiful as these Life Vests.  I hand a couple to two people nearby clutching at railings trying to keep their balance.  More people down the slope of the deck need Life Vests.  I slide Vest after Vest down to those people.  I don't recognize any of them.  Mr. & Mrs. About To Go Into The Water.  I hope they make it.  I put my Life Vest on, snap the buckles and cinch it tight.  Yep, I love this damn Life Vest.  I toss the last couple of Vests into the water in case someone needs them.  Looking around I realize everyone has left, they are in the river.  I hook my dress shoes into the "V" of the railing and jump.  Cold!  The river is so cold.  It's OK, better than the alternative.  Only the tip of the front and rear of the Ferry are still above water.  You never know what's coming, you just do your best. 

I was wrong. 

It's not blue,

it's Orange...

(little over a year ago Tiffany and I traveled to Chicago, I loved that trip and I love that town)

THE INTERNET IS A WONDERFUL SUPRISING THING!

OK, call up your GOGGLE search engine, type in "Zulu Movie Pictures" and punch go.  The top middle picture is a link to this very journal.  The Internet is full of wonderful suprises...


David<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~WORLD FAMOUS!

WEDNESDAY NIGHT

Sweet & Sour Pork + Survivor = Happy David!

I'm tired

It feels like someone dipped a round toothpick in glue nnd then rolled it in a coarse mixture (50% sand, 30% salt, and 20% finely crushed glass), let it dry, and then used it to prop open my eyelids.  Not kidding...

This weekend is Homecoming at MIZZOU.

I wish I could go see the Tigers play.  Being poor sucks, no wonder they revolt and cut off the heads of Royalty.  Speaking of French History based card games...

If you own this card game, then play it tonight with friends.  If you don't own this card game, then quick as a bunny, run out and buy it!  My favorite card game EVAR!  David<~~Grand Champion!

DAVID AT ARCHON!

Excused Duty!

Search & Exterminate!

Archon was fun.  I didn't spend much time there on Friday because I wasn't feeling up to it.  Saturday was a lot more fun.  Didn't drop in on Sunday, spent the day on my BRAND NEW LAPTOP! (Thanx Mom) My costume on Friday was "Excused Duty", and NO ONE GOT THE JOKE.  David<~~sad.  I had much better luck on Saturday, LOTS of comments and people loved guessing the captured animals I was hauling around (for the record: Tribble, Cuca Bug, Face-Hugger).  I loved walking down the hallway and someone smiling because they 'got it'.  I have already thought about next year's Archon and I think I'm going to enter the masquerade.  Think...

ENTS!

ARCHON PICTURES!

ARCHON PICTURES!

ARCHON PICTURES!

ARCHON PICTURES!

Funny thing happened on the way to Istanbul...

http://alhannah.com/products/me482.html
(in case you want to take her out for a spin)

LADIES & GENTLEMEN, Off World Productions is proud to present...

ARCHON 34!

It's not really tomorrow yet, just today part 2

I'm counting this entry as a Thursday entry because I haven't gone to bed yet.  Perfectly logical.  Today my best friend (you know him as Mailman)  brought me my Tactical Vest.  I wanted a XXL, but had to settle for an XL.  Little tight, if wishes were horses, even beggars would ride.  Giddy-up!  I also received my BIOHAZARD patch.  In a perfect world my best friend would bring me my Roarke's Drift t-shirt, Russian Naval Officers Watch and Bumble Bee Ring.  No chance I'm going to get my American Flag Patch in time.  I may still get the mollee pouches, who knows.  I hauled my ill-gotten loot over to Tiffany's and she helped me assemble my Saturday Costume.  ::stares at myself in a hand mirror::  I look EXCELLENT in this costume.  Hopefully people get the jokes and references in my costumes.  I'll have pictures taken and post'm asap.  I still have to finish painting my Cuca Bug.  I have given up on the slung Shotgun, it's too much/heavy/I can't figure out how to attach the sling. Oy vey, que sera sera, put your left foot in...


David<~~~~~~~~~~~~tired puppy

HOW 'BOUT DEM RAMS?

LOL, woke up early worried about all the things I need to do to get ready for Archon.  FOCUS DAVID!  I'm trying my best NOT to spin my wheels and miss something I need to get done before tomorrow.  Miranda, I apologize in advance if I forget about my haircut appointment at 4pm.  Speaking of hairy monsters.  I have a bare spot on both sides of my face right in front of my ears.  I can grow stubby sideburns, and I can grow a beard.  They just don't get along so well.  Good news, let the sideburns grow and then viola!  Sideburns comb over!  Comb down?  Friday morning full beard.  Friday night...HELLO MUTTON CHOPS!  My Friday Night Hall Costume is ready to go.  TODAY.  TODAY.  TODAY my Saturday night Costume will be complete.  ::lights candles in front of my USPS shrine::  ::spins UPS prayer wheel:: ::stares at leaves in my teacup:: YES!  TODAY the last of my Saturday Costume will arrive. 

Or there will be blood...

NERD<~~~~~~~~~~~David!

I'm a hot mess...

OMGTHEBLACKBDU'SANDMYBLACK

LEATHERSEARCHGLOVESARRIVED!

This was the shipment I  was worried about.  So I tear open the box.  Kick off my boots.  Yank my smelly t-shirt off over my head.  Shuck my jeans.  Jump into my new BDU's.  Struggle into my new gloves.  The BDU's are uber comfortable.  The gloves are very thin mediums designed for sensitivity in body searches.   They barely cover my palm they're so tight.  I am so excited.  I dash into the bathroom to look at my new purchases in the big mirror.  They look great!  WOOO WHOO!  I'm dancing in front of the mirror, grinning my head off, when it hits me.  VILLAGE PEOPLE.

little bit...



David<~~~~hoping my Tactical Vest arrives tomorrow!

::blows dust from cover and slowly opens storybook::

Tif & Dave skip off holding hands down the path to Grandma's House, scattering Airsoft BB's all along the way.  MY what a big sewing machine you have Grandma!  The better to sew the epaulets onto your costume with my dear!  Tiffany, someones been ironing my patches!  And your little dog too!  WHOOPS, mixing genres.  ::SLAPS OWN FACE::  Nothing arrived in the mail today, but Tiffany & I did take some of my stuff that needed sewing down to her Mom's house.  We were going to borrow her sewing machine and sew our fingers onto my red velour robe, but Tif's Mom stepped in and professionally attached the patches & epaulets.  She also repaired a strap I had enthusiastically separated from it's home.  YAY Tif's Mom!  My Costume looks great.  The only thing I still need for my Friday Night Hall Costume is my Roarke's Drift tee that is still in transit from the UK.  I'm going to try and find a Union Jack tee shirt as a substitution (if necessary).  I'm still waiting for the Tactical Vest, BDU's, and Searchers Leather Gloves.  Tomorrow, definitely! 

David<~~~~~~~~~~FIRED UP!

ARCHON UPDATE@omg/cantbelieve.imdoing/this.com

I think the Mailman hates me. He used to shove all my mail down to the bottom of my mail box. Nothing says "I LOVE YOU" like a Birthday Card from Grandma folded over 5 times. But since I've started out on my eBay aDventure I see him all the time. A TON of stuff arrived today. The Mailman had to haul it down to my apartment. Five packages balanced in one hand. My Archon Costume Accessories ::bats eyelashes:: !  So the only major pieces I'm missing is: Tactical Vest, black BDU's, black leather Search gloves, Russian Naval Officer watch, Bee ring, various pouches and patches that if they are late it's OK.  Today my drop leg platform and holster arrived.  It's going to look cool as soon as I can figure out how to put it on correct.  The resin Cuca Bug skuttled into my life (cause haven't you always wanted a Cuca Bug?)  The golden fringed epaulets.  Ain't I fancy?  Biohazard temporary tattoos.  I'm going to put one on my neck.  I'm not White Trash, more like Beige.  Tune in at 10 to catch the David Whisker Watch!

PS:  I'm watching Late Night with David Letterman and I have this to say, "Katherine Heigl needs smooched."  Just saying...

Mrs. David Austin Smith

Second costume for Archon...

Think ALIENS + BLADE RUNNER + ENEMY MINE and you get the general idea.  I'm going as a NEXUS 12 Security Officer for a Xenomorph Lab on Haley's Hope who has a pet CUCA bug.  A quick read of the rules of the Convention, I have to have all weapons holstered/sheathed (which may suck considering the large shotgun I'm wearing on a sling around my neck) and no firing weapons allowed.  So I have to disable the three airsoft bb guns so that they cannot fire.  The USCM officer's pistol is solid resin so no drama there.  I even bought an universal sheath for my rubber knife.  My first attempt (and it seemed a good idea at the time) was to buy an inexpensive real knife set and just use the sheath.   Didn't fit.  So now I have this wicked hunting knife ::banjos playing::.  I'm hoping all the stuff arrives on time, I'm having trouble with the slim fit leather gloves and black BDU's.  The company I ordered them from is slow as ach eee double hockey sticks.  I'll add pictures when they exist...

UPDATE:  I managed to attach the 24th Regimental shako plate onto my pith helmet & I put the Weyland-Yutani sticker on the back of the swat riot helmet STRAIGHT and CENTERED!

"What is a CUCA bug" you ask?  Watch the beginning of the folloing video and you'll see a CUCA bug fall into a sandtrap and be consumed by it's predator.  That reminds me, LUNCHTIME!

David<~~~~~~~~NERD!

(BUT YOU KNEW THAT ALREADY DIDN'T CHA?)

First Year for ARCHON at Westport!

So this will be the first year that I'll be wearing a costume to the Convention!


Michael Cain from the classic movie ZUZU!

HERE IS THE LIST OF WHAT I'LL BE WEARING FRIDAY NIGHT:

1. White Pith Helmet with the 24th Gold Shako Plate
2. I'm growing Mutton Chops at this very moment
3. Red Terry Cloth Bathrobe with Gold Epaulets sewn onto the shoulders
4. South Africa War Medal
5. 24th Regiment Lapel Pin
6. Vintage 24th Regiment T-Shirt
7. Proper 24th Regiment Swagger Stick
8. Black Silk Pajama Bottoms
9. Black Slippers

I'm going as "EXCUSED DUTY"

I'll add pictures as soon as I have it all assembled...

David<~~~~~~~~~~~~NERD!

::bows::

BIKE UPDATE!

You get what you pay for. When you pay $150 for a Schwinn bicycle you don't get much. I love Schwinn design, they invented the Cruiser for crissakes! Just for you readers (HA! Read-ER, who am I kidding?) who haven't heard: DO NOT BUY A BICYCLE FROM SCHWINN! Here is what I have had go wrong with my bike so far:

SCHWINN'S FAILURES

1. Paid a Schwinn Dealer almost $700 and was made to wait a month and a half to finally find out from Schwinn they were never going to give me the bike I ordered.  Schwinn's Motto "Where Customer Service is #5!
2. Chain guard come loose while riding, that was interesting.
3. Improperly assembled wheel at the Schwinn Factory caused a flat front tire which ruined my ride.
4. Poorly designed saddle fails while I'm biking and has to be replaced. 

At this point I'm just waiting for the frame to snap in two or the high pitched squeal of the chain's failure to attract a pack of rabid dogs that rip off my legs and then devour them.  In case a Schwinn Customer Service Representative is reading this and doesn't quite understand, let me put it this way...SCHWINN SUCKS ASS!
My next bike (and sooner rather than later the way things are going) will be a Workman.  I'm going to give the boys at the Bicycle Factory some interesting challenges.  We'll see if they are up for it...

Imagine this...

PLUS this...

(I'm going to have them add a brushed metal panel filling up the upper portion of the bike frame)

I still have the LINDY fender ornament and the winged hubcaps after all ::shrugs::

I have a love/hate relationship with Schwinn (love the design of the 1955 Phantom Cruiser/hates Schwinn's horrid Customer Service)

IN SUMMARY

Nails on a blackboard
Exposed tooth nerve
Smell of burning hair
Schwinn customer service

(500) Days of Summer has been added to the list

I made a list of my favorite Romantic Movies on this Journal.  I just added a new entry to the list (not really, I'm too lazy to find the original posting).  Watching this movie makes me laugh and cry at the same time.  Having Zooey Deschanel in it doesn't hurt either.  I need to buy the soundtrack, I love her voice (check her out in ELF) "I'm singing, I'm in a store, and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!, I'm in a store, and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!"

(this is Zooey Deschanel and her music partner performing as She & Him)

EXTRA CREDIT:  This is a picture from the movie 9

If you haven't seen 9, turn off your computer and go rent it!

DAVID<~~~hopeless romantic nerdy music enthusiastic!

::snort::

YOU LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME...

• United States (US) 693  
• Australia (AU) 10
• Canada (CA) 8
• United Kingdom (GB) 3
• Croatia (HR) 2
• Germany (DE) 2
• Faroe Islands (FO) 1
• Japan (JP) 1
• Thailand (TH) 1
• Saudi Arabia (SA) 1

Shorty, Brando, Forest and Fez...

Brando Style Motorcycle Cap 

Forester Cap

Black Fez with Black Tassel

The people that know me, know that I love hats.  I always have.  As a child living in Kansas I wore an Australian Bush hat (mosquito netting, one side snapped up, the whole works) and ran around talking in a fake accent.  In both of my High Schools I wore a Trucker's cap that read "GO BIG BLUE".  The Manhattan Indians and the Junction City Blue Jays (bitter rivals) had the same Football Chants (::shrugs:: I was born under a lucky star).  Later in College it was a red Sailor cap at KSU.  I wore a bright orange/yellow/red plaid Pork Pie hat in Kansas and later also in Missouri (plaid is a good transitional pattern).  And I wore a Greek Fisherman's cap at Mizzou.  That brings us to Bill.  There will always be a soft spot in my heart for Marlin Fishing caps (you say tomato, I say Oysterman's cap).  It's lucky that I love them so, I currently own about 8 long billed caps.  When my original Marlin Fishing cap became too gross and worn out to continue wearing, I wore it for another two years.  Defiant Me, "I'll quit wearing Bill when he's framed under glass and hanging on my wall."  Be careful what you wish for...


Over the years people have commented on my hats and what wearing them means.  A frienemy quipped, "You are just trying to be different."  Some past associates commented, "Dave, you are kinda weird."  And long time friends have stated, "I can't imagine you without one."  And my reply to them all is, "YES!"  Flash forward to today:  It's early on Monday morning, I've just awoken.  I'm sitting on the sofa on my laptop and this is my wardrobe:

1. Yesterday's socks
2. Boxer shorts
3. Watch and Claddagh ring
4. Glasses
5. and Shorty

Shorty Said So

David<~~~~~~~~~~~Hat kind of a guy!

They say you never forget how to ride a bike

They lie.  I'm still wobbly when I ride.  I no longer have bicycle muscle memory.  When I was a kid riding my bike was like a Mongol guiding his long haired pony with his knees as he fires a compound bow at his enemies.  Now if I take ONE hand off of my handlebars I wobble like a drunk outside Larry Rice's Downtown Mission.  Every time something weird comes along, stick in the middle of the path.  Steel bar poking out of the middle of the bike path, it could be anything.  I have to really pay attention or I may wreck.  I'm talking about seriousily paying attention.  The afore mentioned stick was laying lengthwise in the middle of the path and when my front wheel hit it and rode up on it the stick started to roll sideways.  Yes, you see where this is going.  The first thing that travels through your mind is, "DON'T HURT THE BIKE, DON'T HURT THE BIKE!" The second thing is "DON'T HURT YOURSELF, DON'T HURT YOURSELF!"  By the way, I'm OK.  Nine year old Bike David wouldn't even recognize Forty Four year old Bike David.  I know it's just a matter of time in the saddle and I will regain my bicycle muscle memory.  Or (not kidding) I will die trying...

David<~~~~~~~~~~~thinks he is falling in love with GREENWAY

The early morning sunshine reveal the woods in a whole new light...

So I get up at 6:30 am, suit up and drive down to the junction of three bike trails.  I then proceed to bike all three!  Like drawing a star, I ride down one leg then pedal back and head down the next trail.  I got to bike on a part I have never seen before.  I pass fishermen staking out their favorite spot for the day.  I pass a grandfather taking his grandkids fishing for the first time.  I pass couples holding hands.  I pass a young mother out exercising and pushing her sleeping baby in the stroller.  I pass runners.  I pass walkers.  I pass bicyclists.  I ride past the deserted RC Car track, complete with miniature dirt hills and jumps.  I ride past the not deserted RC Plane airfield, and get to watch a man seemingly try to crash his plane on purpose.  I figure out what the weird smell I sometimes run across is.  All of these bike trails are within a stone's throw of the Municipal Sewage Treatment Facility.  I'm glad to reafirm that ditches of leaves and mud do not smell like poop (I was starting to doubt myself).  I got to listen to Rockabilly music as I bike along.  The people I pass get to listen to Rockabilly music as I bike along.  And no that is not rude.  I have about a 50% success rate on notifying other trail folk (like we live underneath mushrooms) that I am "Passing on your left!"  Some have ear buds in, some are hard of hearing, some are talking on their cell phones, and some just don't care.  Almost EVERYONE hears me coming as Little Richard screams "SHE CAN'T HELP IT, THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT ~ OH YEAH!"  I play Rockabilly because #1 I like it and #2 so do most people. Mostly I get smiles as people remember hearing for the first time what I'm playing.  It's also cool to realize how important St. Louis and this region was to Rock and Roll.  St. Louie is featured in song after song (it doesn't hurt to have one of the kings of Rockabilly from St. Louis and still living here)...

HAIL! HAIL! ROCK AND ROLL!

I finally remembered to take a picture of my new bicycle, so here it is:

Yeah that's my bumper sticker:

Today's Health Game:  David 1 and Diabetes 4