Thursday, September 29, 2016

Why am I so hard on Republicans?


I'm going to 
snatch the stupid 
right from your mouth 
and use it to beat you 
black and blue...
(Don't like it?  Quit saying Stupid Things)

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

I am a proud LIBERAL in the tradition of our Founding Fathers...

I don't hate Conservatives. Stupid People do get on my nerves, and sadly the Republican Party is bowing down to THE WILLFULLY IGNORANT...


Why are the STUPID PEOPLE in charge of the Republican Party?

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

PPAP!

I am in a pickle, an embarrassment of riches...

(Don't forget I am a professional poet, Mt. Olive once paid me in free pickles)

The girlfriend is a travel agent and has access to discount fares and she has even won free charter plane tickets to Cancun.  To celebrate her 40th Birthday we will be taking an almost free trip to the Yucatan Pennisula in Mexico and staying at two seperate all inclusive resorts.  Ziplines, swimming with dolphins, climbing pyramids, the whole schmear...
A World Heritage Site!

Yesterday they announced that Adam Ant will be touring America immediatily after we return and I want to do the whole VIP Experience and meet my favorite Performer.  I don't think I can swing an international trip and a Chicago Concert that close together.  This sucks...
(I want to meet Adam so bad)

No moral person will cast a vote for Donald Trump...

I erase 1/2 of what I type on Facebook. Not kidding. I worry that I might alienate people that will vote for Trump and I will have to live with them afterwards. Then I think, no I don't. Why would you want to associate with THE WILLFULLY IGNORANT, the RACISTS, the ONE ISSUE VOTERS or the GUN NUTS? Life is too short to give horrible people any room in your life...




Saturday, September 24, 2016

FT. RILEY KANSAS, LATE SUMMER 1982



Mom yelling up to me on the third floor, 
"David, Matthew Barnum is here with TWO girls..."

Me yelling down to the first floor,
"Send up the two girls and 
tell Matthew that I will see him at school!"


(TRUE STORY)

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

jus a lil' bit...

die antwoord jus a lil' bit...

"Fatty Boom Boom"

Yo hi-tek, u fink u can fuck wif summing like dis?

Yo what u mean summing like dis?

Ja dat's spif
Yo-landi do dat fing!

[Hook:]
Hey fatty boom boom! Hit me wif da ching ching!
Fat pocket klinking! Dollar eye twinkling!
Jeez da beats so chunky! Me'sa getting funky!
Ooooh!

Wen I'm on da mic it's like murder murder murder! Kill kill kill!
Wat se zuid afrika? Suig my fokken piel
Hie kom ek weer! Like a lekker smack in face
Rappers r fucking boring ninja bashing dere brainz
What happened 2 all da kool rapperz from back in da day?
Nowawayz all deze rapperz sound exactly da same
It's like 1 big inbred fuck-fest sis!
No I do not wanna stop collaborate or listen
Jimmy jimmy jimmy, hold on 2 yor ching
I'm taking over amerika blowing up everyfing
Physically fit da ninja very energetic
If u haven't got it by now yo you never gonna get it
I whip my dick out an piss on all dis horrible fokken rap
Got a off-shore account 4 da dollar bills dat I stack
Yo fuck rap! I'm sorry my china we not related
I cum mad fresh like da 1st time I ejaculated

[Hook]

Hi my name is...
Yo-landi fokken vi$$er! Fight fight fight!
Kick u in da teef! Hit u on da head wif da mic!
Dere's a rumble in da jungle I'm bubbling 2 da beat
I'm not looking 4 trouble but troublez looking 4 me
My pockets r fokken swollen but nuffing jus cum 4 free
I used 2 beg borrow or steal jus 2 hustle sumfing 2 eat
Souf afrika used 2 b 2 dwankie 2 notice me
Suddenly u interested cause we blowing up overseaz
Making money money money! Yes yes yes!
Zefside represent! U fucking wif da best
I'm a upper! Dwankiez get popped like a sucker
Baka baka! Yipee kaiyay muddafucka!
I'm a big deal! Yo krazy money get thrown at me
Now I'm having so much dat I can't even go 2 sleep!
Yo-landi! Wat? Where u at? Here I am!
Spitting fokken lyrix like bam bam bam!

[Hook]

We keep it lekker lekker lekker zef zef zef!
Spend all my fuckin money till dere's nuffing left
I'm a fat cat keep da change I don't need a slip...
For dis fat sack of dagga yo I'm smoking a splif
In my matt black subaru haters throwing a fit
Round da corner gooi n lekker spif tokyo drift
My daddy told me dere'z a lot of fish in da sea
Dere'z also lot of muddafuckn money, bitchez and weed!
Ja dagga! Dagga! Dagga! Puff puff puff!
Bring da beat back hi-tek... make it ruf!
We drop da type of beats dat make u shut da fuck up an dance!
We drop da type of beats dat got u fuckin stuck in a trance
In da overseaz dey like 2 say u stuck in a trance
We drop da type of beats dat make u fuckin cum in yor pants
Uh! Waarsie fokken dagga? Pass it 2 da left
Lekker z 2 da e 2 da muddafuckn f!

[Hook]

Jeeziz ou! Chill net n bietjie fokken uit!