Friday, October 22, 2010

What do these three things have in common?



Yesterday I did some maintenance on my bike in preparation for my ride.  I tried to install a seat post shock absorber only to find I'd purchased the wrong size.  My bad.  Next I removed the old pedals and replaced them with larger ones.  One pedal went on pretty well, the second only screwed in about halfway.  I broke the 1/2" socket attachment trying to screw the pedal in all the way.  Imagine the most mechanically handy guy you know standing next to you.  Now I'm the guy waving hello to you from across the street.  David+Tools=Nuclear Holocaust.  Just saying.  So I make sure the saddle in on straight and tight, the seat post is secure and then I'm off for my ride.  As I'm cruising around the parking lot of the bike trail I notice that two things are going wrong with my bike.  Since I purchased a Schwinn I'm used to things breaking from poor workmanship but this hits a little closer to home.  I notice a weird little wiggle in the pedal that is only screwed in halfway.  Ohhhh, the pedal is screwed in at a slight angle.  Silly David.  Also every time I turn left or right in the parking lot my saddle seems to move a little.  OK, 'seems to move a little' like hell, it moves ALOT!  No tools with me of course so I have a choice.  Go home and fix the bike.  OR.  Ride anyway.  Ha, I choose RIDE ANYWAY BABY!  So I'm off and it's not too bad.  When I get to the turn around point for a 2 mile ride I think, "It's not too bad I should ride a full 4 miles!".  Me and Custer.  Just saying.  So I'm about halfway through the next mile when I notice something.  As I pass people and say, "Hello", they all seem to be getting taller and Taller and TALLER.  And why are my knees almost hitting my chin as I pedal?  Ohhhh.  The perfect trifecta.  My seat post has now slid down to the lowest position possible and I'm reaching up to my handlebars.  So I'll paint you a picture of what I looked like yesterday riding my bike.  Imagine Festus from Gunsmoke straddling a sit and spin attached to a lowrider bicycle, and every time he pedals there is a hitch in his giddy-up.  Amused? 
I am at your service.

::bows::


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