Thursday, September 30, 2010

It's not really tomorrow yet, just today part 2

I'm counting this entry as a Thursday entry because I haven't gone to bed yet.  Perfectly logical.  Today my best friend (you know him as Mailman)  brought me my Tactical Vest.  I wanted a XXL, but had to settle for an XL.  Little tight, if wishes were horses, even beggars would ride.  Giddy-up!  I also received my BIOHAZARD patch.  In a perfect world my best friend would bring me my Roarke's Drift t-shirt, Russian Naval Officers Watch and Bumble Bee Ring.  No chance I'm going to get my American Flag Patch in time.  I may still get the mollee pouches, who knows.  I hauled my ill-gotten loot over to Tiffany's and she helped me assemble my Saturday Costume.  ::stares at myself in a hand mirror::  I look EXCELLENT in this costume.  Hopefully people get the jokes and references in my costumes.  I'll have pictures taken and post'm asap.  I still have to finish painting my Cuca Bug.  I have given up on the slung Shotgun, it's too much/heavy/I can't figure out how to attach the sling. Oy vey, que sera sera, put your left foot in...

David<~~~~~~~~~~~~tired puppy


LOL, woke up early worried about all the things I need to do to get ready for Archon.  FOCUS DAVID!  I'm trying my best NOT to spin my wheels and miss something I need to get done before tomorrow.  Miranda, I apologize in advance if I forget about my haircut appointment at 4pm.  Speaking of hairy monsters.  I have a bare spot on both sides of my face right in front of my ears.  I can grow stubby sideburns, and I can grow a beard.  They just don't get along so well.  Good news, let the sideburns grow and then viola!  Sideburns comb over!  Comb down?  Friday morning full beard.  Friday night...HELLO MUTTON CHOPS!  My Friday Night Hall Costume is ready to go.  TODAY.  TODAY.  TODAY my Saturday night Costume will be complete.  ::lights candles in front of my USPS shrine::  ::spins UPS prayer wheel:: ::stares at leaves in my teacup:: YES!  TODAY the last of my Saturday Costume will arrive. 

Or there will be blood...


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I'm a hot mess...

This was the shipment I  was worried about.  So I tear open the box.  Kick off my boots.  Yank my smelly t-shirt off over my head.  Shuck my jeans.  Jump into my new BDU's.  Struggle into my new gloves.  The BDU's are uber comfortable.  The gloves are very thin mediums designed for sensitivity in body searches.   They barely cover my palm they're so tight.  I am so excited.  I dash into the bathroom to look at my new purchases in the big mirror.  They look great!  WOOO WHOO!  I'm dancing in front of the mirror, grinning my head off, when it hits me.  VILLAGE PEOPLE.

little bit...

David<~~~~hoping my Tactical Vest arrives tomorrow!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

::blows dust from cover and slowly opens storybook::

Tif & Dave skip off holding hands down the path to Grandma's House, scattering Airsoft BB's all along the way.  MY what a big sewing machine you have Grandma!  The better to sew the epaulets onto your costume with my dear!  Tiffany, someones been ironing my patches!  And your little dog too!  WHOOPS, mixing genres.  ::SLAPS OWN FACE::  Nothing arrived in the mail today, but Tiffany & I did take some of my stuff that needed sewing down to her Mom's house.  We were going to borrow her sewing machine and sew our fingers onto my red velour robe, but Tif's Mom stepped in and professionally attached the patches & epaulets.  She also repaired a strap I had enthusiastically separated from it's home.  YAY Tif's Mom!  My Costume looks great.  The only thing I still need for my Friday Night Hall Costume is my Roarke's Drift tee that is still in transit from the UK.  I'm going to try and find a Union Jack tee shirt as a substitution (if necessary).  I'm still waiting for the Tactical Vest, BDU's, and Searchers Leather Gloves.  Tomorrow, definitely! 

David<~~~~~~~~~~FIRED UP!

Monday, September 27, 2010

ARCHON UPDATE@omg/cantbelieve.imdoing/

I think the Mailman hates me. He used to shove all my mail down to the bottom of my mail box. Nothing says "I LOVE YOU" like a Birthday Card from Grandma folded over 5 times. But since I've started out on my eBay aDventure I see him all the time. A TON of stuff arrived today. The Mailman had to haul it down to my apartment. Five packages balanced in one hand. My Archon Costume Accessories ::bats eyelashes:: !  So the only major pieces I'm missing is: Tactical Vest, black BDU's, black leather Search gloves, Russian Naval Officer watch, Bee ring, various pouches and patches that if they are late it's OK.  Today my drop leg platform and holster arrived.  It's going to look cool as soon as I can figure out how to put it on correct.  The resin Cuca Bug skuttled into my life (cause haven't you always wanted a Cuca Bug?)  The golden fringed epaulets.  Ain't I fancy?  Biohazard temporary tattoos.  I'm going to put one on my neck.  I'm not White Trash, more like Beige.  Tune in at 10 to catch the David Whisker Watch!

PS:  I'm watching Late Night with David Letterman and I have this to say, "Katherine Heigl needs smooched."  Just saying...
Mrs. David Austin Smith

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Second costume for Archon...

Think ALIENS + BLADE RUNNER + ENEMY MINE and you get the general idea.  I'm going as a NEXUS 12 Security Officer for a Xenomorph Lab on Haley's Hope who has a pet CUCA bug.  A quick read of the rules of the Convention, I have to have all weapons holstered/sheathed (which may suck considering the large shotgun I'm wearing on a sling around my neck) and no firing weapons allowed.  So I have to disable the three airsoft bb guns so that they cannot fire.  The USCM officer's pistol is solid resin so no drama there.  I even bought an universal sheath for my rubber knife.  My first attempt (and it seemed a good idea at the time) was to buy an inexpensive real knife set and just use the sheath.   Didn't fit.  So now I have this wicked hunting knife ::banjos playing::.  I'm hoping all the stuff arrives on time, I'm having trouble with the slim fit leather gloves and black BDU's.  The company I ordered them from is slow as ach eee double hockey sticks.  I'll add pictures when they exist...

UPDATE:  I managed to attach the 24th Regimental shako plate onto my pith helmet & I put the Weyland-Yutani sticker on the back of the swat riot helmet STRAIGHT and CENTERED!

"What is a CUCA bug" you ask?  Watch the beginning of the folloing video and you'll see a CUCA bug fall into a sandtrap and be consumed by it's predator.  That reminds me, LUNCHTIME!



Wednesday, September 15, 2010

First Year for ARCHON at Westport!

So this will be the first year that I'll be wearing a costume to the Convention!

Michael Cain from the classic movie ZUZU!
  1. White Pith Helmet with the 24th Gold Shako Plate
  2. I'm growing Mutton Chops at this very moment
  3. Red Terry Cloth Bathrobe with Gold Epaulets sewn onto the shoulders
  4. South Africa War Medal
  5. 24th Regiment Lapel Pin
  6. Vintage 24th Regiment T-Shirt
  7. Proper 24th Regiment Swagger Stick
  8. Black Silk Pajama Bottoms
  9. Black Slippers

I'm going as "EXCUSED DUTY"

I'll add pictures as soon as I have it all assembled...



Friday, September 10, 2010


You get what you pay for. When you pay $150 for a Schwinn bicycle you don't get much. I love Schwinn design, they invented the Cruiser for crissakes! Just for you readers (HA! Read-ER, who am I kidding?) who haven't heard: DO NOT BUY A BICYCLE FROM SCHWINN! Here is what I have had go wrong with my bike so far:

  1. Paid a Schwinn Dealer almost $700 and was made to wait a month and a half to finally find out from Schwinn they were never going to give me the bike I ordered.  Schwinn's Motto "Where Customer Service is #5!
  2. Chain guard come loose while riding, that was interesting.
  3. Improperly assembled wheel at the Schwinn Factory caused a flat front tire which ruined my ride.
  4. Poorly designed saddle fails while I'm biking and has to be replaced. 

At this point I'm just waiting for the frame to snap in two or the high pitched squeal of the chain's failure to attract a pack of rabid dogs that rip off my legs and then devour them.  In case a Schwinn Customer Service Representative is reading this and doesn't quite understand, let me put it this way...SCHWINN SUCKS ASS!
My next bike (and sooner rather than later the way things are going) will be a Workman.  I'm going to give the boys at the Bicycle Factory some interesting challenges.  We'll see if they are up for it...

Imagine this...
PLUS this...
(I'm going to have them add a brushed metal panel filling up the upper portion of the bike frame)
I still have the LINDY fender ornament and the winged hubcaps after all ::shrugs::

I have a love/hate relationship with Schwinn (love the design of the 1955 Phantom Cruiser/hates Schwinn's horrid Customer Service)


Nails on a blackboard
Exposed tooth nerve
Smell of burning hair
Schwinn customer service

Thursday, September 9, 2010

(500) Days of Summer has been added to the list

I made a list of my favorite Romantic Movies on this Journal.  I just added a new entry to the list (not really, I'm too lazy to find the original posting).  Watching this movie makes me laugh and cry at the same time.  Having Zooey Deschanel in it doesn't hurt either.  I need to buy the soundtrack, I love her voice (check her out in ELF) "I'm singing, I'm in a store, and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!, I'm in a store, and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!"

(this is Zooey Deschanel and her music partner performing as She & Him)

EXTRA CREDIT:  This is a picture from the movie 9
If you haven't seen 9, turn off your computer and go rent it!

DAVID<~~~hopeless romantic nerdy music enthusiastic!

Friday, September 3, 2010



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