Sunday, August 2, 2009


About two weeks ago I returned home from work to discover a hot pink sticker stuck to my front door. It was from a Process Server named Bev and was about a Defendant named Bryan. It had a case number and a phone number to call. I call the phone number and leave some guy named Kevin a message with my name and my address and my phone number and that I am NOT Bryan and no Bryan lives with me. Three days later Kevin calls back and leaves a voicemail on my cell phone. He thanks me for the information and promises me that he will give Bev the message and that she will call me right back. A week goes by with no contact so I think the issue is over. Then I get a phone number calling me that I don't recognize. So I call it back and get the same Kevin's recorded spiel. Now I'm mad so I hang up. Then I realize I need to leave a message so I can try and get this cleared up so I redial Kevin's phone number. But because the stars are aligned just right I don't hear the phone ring and I actually end up on the speaker phone in Kevin's office as he tries to recruit some dude to be a Process Server for him. Dumbfounded I listen in as my cell phone records about 10 minutes of Kevin's sales pitch to this dude. "You are a Officer of the Court...blah blah blah...give the Summons to anyone over the age of 15...blah blah blah...even if they are not over 15 it's OK, cause you're an Officer of the Court...blah blah blah." It seems the Process Server is an industry full of people with lots of integrity and ethical concerns (insert sarcastic look here). Stunned I go back to my day. Later that evening I'm sitting on my sofa at 11pm when I hear this tap tap tap on my front door. NO WAY! Before I even look out the peephole I know who I'm going to see. Peephole confirmation. There is a lady standing outside with an ID on a chain around her neck holding a clipboard. I'm not ready to receive visitors so I rush about looking for something to throw on when ol' Bev starts to really BANG on my front door at 11pm at night. Geez this half wit is going to wake up everyone in the apartment complex. I open the door and Bev is like 'Name?'. I tell her my name is David and Bev is like 'ID!'. I tell her 'no', then realize I'm only prolonging this SNAFU and tell her to wait. I shut the door and grab my Driver's License and open my front door and tell ol' Bev, "This is NONE of your business, but the only way I'm going to get rid of you is to show you that you are in the wrong place." Bev responds, "I'm an Officer of the Court!". "No you are just a Process Server and you are in the wrong place" She looks at my ID and then starts stammering "The computer shows Bryan is at this address" "I have lived here for 3 years and I have never heard of this Bryan nor seen any mail addressed to him show up here" Looking stricken Bev squeaks out a "Sorry" and I tell her "Good-bye" and shut my door. I'd like to think this issue has been resolved but somehow I imagine I'll be seeing the guy Kevin was trying to recruit sometime in the near future...

Bryan, with Kevin and Bev on the case you could camp out on a billboard next to the Interstate and still sleep like a baby...

David<~~~~~~~~next time I'm calling the Cops on ol' Kevin and Bev and let them explain themselves to Johnny Law

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