Sunday, July 19, 2009


sing a song of sixpence a pocketful of rye ashes ashes we all fall down when i'm tired i play 'eyegames' i use an imaginary line drawn from my eyes to trace the geometric shapes that occur nearby a door frame a window the outline where the walls meet the ceiling tiles on the bathroom floor it calms me but if someone sees me doing it i tend to look a little bit crazy i don't move my head just my eyes yea i know it does look crazy when i was a kid i was convinced that our pomeranian dog prince could talk when i would talk to him he would tilt his head and look at me i would say to prince it's ok i won't tell anyone you can talk to me when i was a kid i thought that my aunt mary was lucille ball and my uncle darrell was jethro from the beverly hillbillies in college i once concentrated at my tv set and the picture got fuzzy and jumped back and forth a bit so i kept trying it and got the same results over and over again i called mary my fiance at the time to watch the tv screen and tell me if anything happened so i concentrated and mary told me that the tv screen changed i was ecstatic i could mentally affect the material world so i did it over and over again reveling in my mutant abilities when i thought of something i tried my ability on a bookcase and it got fuzzy and jumped back and forth damn when i was concentrating i was making my eyes go unfocused i was not a mutant i called mary back into the room and asked her why she said that the tv screen changed and she told me that it was obvious that it was important to me so she just went along with my delusion i'm watching penn and tellers bullshit they are shooting holes in the twenty twelve apocalypse theories i love these two guys they cut me up i need a diagram of the universe with an arrow pointing to my location with the caption you are here so if i lose my keys after my alien abduction i can find my way home i remember watching a tv show back in the seventies about ufo's and their theory was that if someone saw something in the sky and you didn't know what it was that meant that it had to be an alien at work we sell a magazine called skeptic and in the last issue they faked ufo's and documented their efforts and then counted how many people then assumed that they saw aliens and what media outlets picked up the story that is funny makes me laugh know what else makes me laugh watching videos of kids skateboarding and breaking their bones trying difficult tricks i also like watching cops makes me feel superior no matter how my day went or how i feel my day is going better than the white trash being chewed on by the police dog when someone says come out or i'll send in the dog i advise you to come out don't drink don't smoke what do you do laugh kookaburras laugh how gay your life must be i would like i would like i would like to keep some finches but i have no desire to clean another enclosure so no birds for me it's time to go to sleep because i'm done typing now stream of conscious gets boring after a while sorry that you read this all the way to the end...

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