Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Happy to report I am smarter than an Emu (but not by much)


Hello Faithful readers,


I'm still in TX and I will drive back to STL this Saturday. I am seriously missing the GF. Yesterday it fell to me to open the Chicken Coop in the morning so the chickens that were locked up last night (to protect them from predators) could get to water and forage for their food. PROBLEM. The Chicken Coop sits about ten feet into the enclosure that houses two overly protective Emu parents. So I throw in some chicken scratch for the chickens, the Emus threaten me. I talk soothingly to them, the Emus threaten me. I stand still and act calm, the Emus threaten me. I move to a different location, the Emus threaten me. No more 'Mr. Nice Guy'. Scream at the Emus, nothing. Pelt the Emus with small stones, nothing. Clock the Emu upside the head with the handle of a hoe, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. Bang the hoe against a metal trash can lid, nothing. An hour passes like this. The Emus wander off away from the now boring man beating a hoe against a metal trash can lid. I wait until the female is far away and the male is sorta walking away and enter the Chicken/Emu enclosure. Holding the hoe in front of me like a lance and gripping the trash can lid like a shield I advance. No sign of the Emus. Open the Chicken Coop door and fasten the chain so the chickens can get back in but the Emus can't and turn back to the gate. The hair stands up on the back of my neck as I retreat. When an Emu comes for you they come with their head low. They hiss at you and snap their beaks shut loudly. When they rear up to their total height they stand at about 6 feet tall and leap at you as they try to disembowel you with their huge sharp claws. Have you seen 'Jurassic Park'? Think Velociraptor. Luckily they were bored with trying to get at me. I make it out of the Chicken/Emu enclosure with my dignity and hide intact (I did NOT look silly carrying a trash can lid shield)! So I am happy to report that I am smarter than an Emu. But it was a close call...



David<~~~~ancestral enemy of the Emu Clan

(who knew?)


(not a picture of one of our Emus, I wouldn't expose my expensive camera to their shenanigans)

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