Tuesday, February 6, 2007

ANATOMY OF A DIVORCE PROCEEDING...

I Sleep in.  Get up and eat a Ham sammich with fresh fried chips (that I bought at the new Schnucks).  Watch some TV.  Tumble some clothes.  Wash some David.  Get dressed.  Worry about the location of the Divorce Proceedings.  Call the phone number on the notice.  Get an "AWAY" message.  Find my leather folder (it has my initials on it).  Put all my documents into the folder.  Call my ex-Wife for clairifacation.  She's already left.  I think I know where I'm going.  I bring a book to read while in the Courtroom.  Drive to Clayton.  Pass a building called "The Family Court Building".  Worry about the location of the Divorce Proceedings.  Try to call the phone number on the notice.  Accidently redials my ex-Wife.  Hang up embarassed.  Call the phone number on the notice.  Get an "AWAY" message.  Head to the COURTS Building in Clayton anyway.  Think to myself, "Don't forget to leave your pocketknife in the car" [The COURTS Building has metal detectors].  Put $2.00 in coins in the meter.  Walk to the COURTS Building.  Talk to the Deputy to find out if I'm in the correct building.  I am.  Empty out my pockets to go thru the metal detector.  Discover that I have forgotten to leave my pocketknife in my car.  Walk back to my car.  Leave my pocketknife in the car.  Walk to the COURTS Building.  Go thru the metal detector.  Take two escalators up to the 2nd Floor.  Find the correct Court Room.  I am early.  Enter the Court Room to find the Court Official is already speaking to the assembled petitioneers.  Sit down hastily so as to not interrupt her speech.  End up sitting directly behind my ex-Wife and her twin sister.  It puts them in a tizzy.  They whisper.  A lot.  I turn off my cell phone so it won't interrupt the Judge when he is speaking.  I read.  The Court Official has some questions about our paperwork.  We leave to meet in a small room at the back of the Court Room.  We answer her questions.  We are ready to go.  The Judge is explaining the procedures.  The Judge calls the petitioneers.  My ex-Wife's twin sister's cell phone rings and it interrupts the Judge when he is speaking.  The Ballif gestures for her to leave the Court Room.  She leaves.  I listen to the Judge speaking.  My ex-Wife's twin returns.  The Judge calls us up third.  The Judge asks my ex-Wife all the questions that are on the petition.  She answers "Yes" to them all.  The Judge asks me a lot of questions.  I answer "Yes Sir" to them all.  The Judge thanks us.  I am Divorced.  Walk out of the Court Room.  Drink at the water fountain.  Follow my ex-Wife and her twin down two escalators.  They stop outside in the freezing cold to huddle together and smoke.  I walk past and onto my car.  Get into my car and drive home.  I call all my Friends and Family and tell them the good news.  A song is bubbling in my heart.  And I smile...

 

David<~~~~~~~a single man again!

 

                        (to celebrate I fry two pork steaks, and have them with white gravy, toast and corn)

 

No comments:

Post a Comment