Saturday, December 31, 2005

yanking out nosehairs makes you sneeze...




                                                                     good bye 2005...






Friday, December 30, 2005

Friday Night in BA...

ELDAVO12: life is full of coffee tables in dark rooms
Sonja baby 1972: what smash
SmashThisMirror4: Tammy-my father was very strict- you just did not mess around
Sonja baby 1972: ?
Tammythebratt: Smash, that's a good thing.
Phys1r5: lol indeed lfn, it does appear that humanity goes through a kind of parabola like existence
MrsDorfl: ELD, that's profound. Can I quote you?
ELDAVO12: sure
Phys1r5: old age too will have its great problems
ELDAVO12: start a club
Tammythebratt: I had just turned 15 when I lost the big " V "
SmashThisMirror4: we even had to wear a skirt or dress to dinner every night-ate as a family- NEVER called adults by their first name-ect
ELDAVO12: but I want a cut of the membership fees
OnlineHost: Tyrebitre has entered the room.
Phys1r5: from child to child
Tammythebratt: And that was nothing.
Sonja baby 1972:
Tammythebratt: lol
ELDAVO12: and any royalities of my image
MrsDorfl: {{{{{{{{{{{{{AMEW}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
ELDAVO12: graven or not

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Found a new Adam Ant song!

DOGGY STYLE by Adam Ant/Marco Pirroni

Do not waste my time

By laying out the rules

If you're so intellectual

then you belong in school


Rebop a Bebop

Do it doggy style

I like it better when you're mad

feels so good when you're bad bad bad

Pick your honey up

Never let her go

Say you want an answer

and the answer isn't "no"

Do it doggy style

right across the floor

When you feel exhausted

then you know it's time for more

I wanna see you sweat

Makes you feel so sweet

All that matters is your Manners and Physique

I love it when you tease

adore the times you pose

but I can't kiss a lipstick

or date a pile of clothes


You have a super bod

I saw it so I know

so why the sweats and baggy clothes

Like you don't have to show


Now you've quit the drugs

and the messin' 'round

But you be very careful

that you don't get muscle bound

Pick your honey up

Never let her go

Say you want an answer

and the answer isn't "no"

I wanna see you sweat

That would be real chic

All that really matters

Is your Manners and Physique

You've tuned up everything

tighter than a drum

So why not skip the salad

and come and have some fun

Pick your honey up

Never let her go

Say you want an answer

and the answer isn't "no"

I wanna see you sweat

That would be unique

All that really matters

is your Manners and Physique

Honey kiss on this

Honey suck on that

It's very rich in vitamins

To keep your stomach flat

Pick your honey up

Never let her go

Say you want an answer

and the answer isn't "no"

I wanna see you sweat

that would be unique

all that really matters

is your Manners and Physique


Merry Kwanzanicha!

Well I awoke early this morning (due to an early phone call) to a White Christmas.  Nice.  I'm going to go see Memoirs of a Geisha.  A friend of mine tells me it's lovely.  So far today I have fried bacon for breakfast and mic'ed a bowl of soup for lunch.  ::shrugs::  Heck I'm still in my Sloppy Joe's tee shirt and sleep pants from last night... I'm jumping into the shower and then I'm off to see if there are any food joints open on this National Holiday... Wish me luck.


David the bachelor



Saturday, December 24, 2005

It's Christmas Eve...

I closed at work today.  I sent people home early once it became obvious that we weren't going to make the huge plan number I was given.  As we were straightening up the store, we found a hundred dollar hardbound Bible and CD set that someone had stolen.  I was the one that waited on her.  Bibles are the number one stolen book in my company.  We also have had a rash of hateful people trying to start fights because we wish people "Happy Holidays" over the intercom during our store announcements.  Gotta love the Christian spirit.  And for the record there is no "War on Christmas".  But there is an organized agenda by the Religious Right to force everyone to bow to their wishes.  Our American Taliban has Pat Robertson as it's leader., and the Rev. Phelps is one of the dog soldiers.  ::climbs down off of my soapbox::  I took the little Poinsettia plant home with me tonight.  I had put it on the break room table as a center piece for the Pizza Party that I bought as my Christmas present to all my associates.  Leaving the store it was starting to drizzle.  Funny weather for Dec 24th in Missouri.  I ate dinner in Chili's and read my newest White Dwarf magazine.  They have new figs coming out for the Dwarves, things like that make me smile (David<~~~nerd).  Then I drove up to the Walgreen's at Gravois Bluffs and did some grocery shopping, Dierbergs had already closed because of the Holiday.  The three cute little brunettes that were Walgreen's cashiers tonight all had on matching handmade Christmas tee shirts, they were in a good mood.  I pushed the miniature shopping cart around the store as I picked up some food to eat on Christmas Day.  I might go to a movie tomorrow, or watch an all day movie marathon on one of the cable channels.  I loaded all the bags into my car and noticed that it's raining harder now.  Driving home the radio tells me that it's going to drop to 30 degrees tonight.  A "White Christmas" is a distinct probability.  I arrive home and put away the groceries.  As I load my cookie jar I justify eating the Double Stuffed Oreos that have chipped edges because they aren't "perfect".  I'm a noble creature at heart...  I peel off my work clothes and 'don me now my gay apparel' Fa La La, La La La, La, La, La...  Sitting here in my Sloppy Joes tee and my Chinese Take-Out sleep pants I realize that I have an OK life.  I want to take this time to wish all my friends and family a Happy Holidays and a Merry Christmas!  This is David Austin Smith, signing off...



Thursday, December 22, 2005

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, the Great Laundry Boil in now in session...

Gentlemen this is your assignment if you chose to accept it...  It's 1300 hrs and the laundry needs doing.  It's a tuff job and some of you won't make it back alive...  You have trained for this mission and it is time, Good Luck and God Speed!


duck and roll, lock and load, fold and fluff... Commander David signing off...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I'm always ready for another round ::dances on my tippy toes as I shadow box in the ring::

Me And My Foolish Heart


My foolish heart keeps a vigil

standing ready, always searching

does he know what's best for me

or is he selfish, blind and needy

He sends a thrill throughout my body

at the slightest glance or imagined smile

If I didn't need him, I'd set him down

It's too hard to struggle through his mistakes

paying the cost for his recklessness

I have seen the damage firsthand

what an unchained heart can do

but he still stands watch 

and he helps me

write it all down in my journal

sketch it all quickly with my pencil

take the pictures that I love to frame

empathize with my friends when they are hurting

and he does make me feel

like I am alive...

is the price worth it

in the end it's just me


and my foolish heart

Tired but I can't sleep...

I fell asleep after I got off from work and slept 5+ hrs and now I can't get any rest...


2:56am on Wednesday and I want to go to sleep...

Monday, December 19, 2005

Something cool happened today, remind me someday and I'll tell you a story.


I am sleepy, but my foolish heart is dancing...


Saturday, December 17, 2005

::the sound of shattering glass:: Dawn is breaking...

It's 6:19am and I just woke up.  The beast lurches from it's den.  I have to go knock the mud off and dress up all business like and hoof it off to the gainful employment.  ::sigh::  I'm tired.  It's Saturday and we should be pretty busy though, so that will be nice.  Time to make the donuts!


David, but just barely...



Friday, December 16, 2005

I have the day off!

















I just discovered a new Adam Ant song...


(and I love it)




Thursday, December 15, 2005

"...and the good guys hate the bad guys, and we call this making history..."

Yesterday I went to see King Kong.  If you have to choose between a root channel and seeing King Kong at the Movie Theatre, call your dentist.  It is the worst film I have seen YTD (and that includes all the junk on cable).  I am all for the suspension of belief, but I don't want belief to be "hung by the neck till it's dead..." 


"You might not like it now but you will..."


Did I mention that I am the biggest Adam Ant fan in all of Missouri?  I'm pretty sure I have a shot at the biggest fan in all of the MidWest...but I don't want to seem the braggart.  "Dirk wears white socks"...ok I'm done being a New Wave Nerd.


Why do I like Adam Ant so much?  That's easy, Adam was different and he made it easier for me to be different.  Someone else already was...


David<~~~~~~~~~~as different as they come

(I look normal don't I?  heeheheeheheehehee...)


I'm listening to the REDUEX Cd right now, "MOHAWK"!  Ok I wasn't done being a New Wave Nerd...


...two drummers, how can you not like that sound?


Just got off from work, I have my eyes closed and I'm listening to Adam Ant original recordings and it doesn't get much better than this...


(all quotations are song lyrics by adam)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

One Two Three O'Clock Four O'Clock Rock...

I am tired.  I sit here with my companion, I shall call him Grape Cream Slush, and I fight back the advance of gravity.  Gravity that attempts to close my eyelids like an old garage door opener that is about due to be replaced.  Slowly and in fits and starts.  I clear my throat.  I sound like an old man sitting in the waiting room at the Geriatric Outreach Center who has spent a lifetime shouting out his bets at the racetrack and chain smoking.  It's a living.  I regret a lot of things I have done in my life.  I also regret lots of things that I did not do.  Regret is like an old pair of underwear.  It's faded and torn and you should throw it away, but it's comfortable so you keep it around.  Some times I fancy myself a poet, and then other times I know better...


as always I am David...




Monday, December 12, 2005

ho Ho HO!

OK, it's official.  I have weird friends.  Someone that knew me in College sent me a package today.  Sitting on my doorstep was a box filled with:


numerous bar towels (used to pack the following items)

9 round Shakespeare's Pizza coasters

6 glass Shakespeare's Pizza glasses

4 "Shirt Shaped" Shakespeare's Pizza coasters (that I am supposed to 'dip in water to see what happens', but I am afraid to...)

3 pkgs of chop sticks

2 restaurant table shakers (one with grated Parmesan Cheese the other with coarse Red Pepper)

1 round plastic ashtray (like you find in restaurants)

1 plastic Lobster Bib

0 note or explanation of who it is from...




I highly suspect my brother Mark, "Hey Butt Nut, are you behind this?"




Sunday, December 11, 2005

We are getting busy at the bookstore!

I think I'm going to frame the printed copies of the fundraising brochure that Dan sent me.  Is there no end to my vanity?  Doesn't appear so...  I saw Good Night and Good Luck tonight, it was filmed in black and white and is a pretty good movie.  Really takes you back to the time when there was an ignorant political figure trying to control the USA through fear, lies, and intimidation...


We are at a junction in the US, it is time to take back our moral center from the people who would twist our country into something they would like it to be, something smaller and not as intelligent as we could be.  I for one do not want to turn the clock back to the Inquisition...


                                   David<~~~~~~standing on his soapbox!


Still have my tie on from work, reclining on my sofa pecking away at the keys on this here new fangled MAchine... 7:26pm on Sunday December 11th.



Saturday, December 10, 2005



two sets of keys





business card holder

more receipts

a name and a phone number

a wallet

a hankerchief

and a promise

all my wordly goods summed up

I set them on the bookshelf

and wonder what to do next



I have a day off, and it's Saturday!

I saw Narnia last night, it was wonderful.  Watching the Witch fight with two swords alone is worth the price of admission...


Sitting on my sofa at 7:18 am on a lazy Saturday morning contemplating going out for brunch...



Wednesday, December 7, 2005

I think I figured out what is wrong with my scale...

Both belts I purchased at Target.  The reversible belt broke...and the first belt I bought is seperating...  The moral of this story, don't buy belts at Target.  ::shrugs::

Monday, December 5, 2005

Home sick today

My scale is broke, something is wrong with it, I need to buy a new one...::sigh::  My ring is loose.  When I gained all the weight in Omaha I paid to have it enlarged.  Now I almost lose it everyday.  I'm going to have to have it made smaller...::sigh::  I'm sick.  I have taken two naps already this morning and plan to take another one, I feel like poo-poo...::sigh::


Sitting here in yesterday's wrinkled clothes with a pounding headache at 2:24pm on Monday Dec 5th...





Sunday, December 4, 2005





Do trees dream

as they sleep away the winter

are their nocturnal thoughts kept

in the tiniest piece of splinter


When their branches sway

are they acting out a memory

when the wind interrupts their sleep

are they really trying to get free


Free to run and laugh

as we are want to do

what we take for granted

our whole life through


I watch the trees and wonder

why I care at all

why I think these things

at the end of every fall


Is it because I see in them

a little piece of me

an understanding of what it is

a yearning to be set free


To try for something different

something I haven’t had yet

friendship love and laughter

a promise not quite met


So I watch the trees sleeping

and swaying with the wind

dreaming of running and laughter

and good times that never end


I smile and I know their longings

I know what makes them sway

I smile because I understand

I dream exactly the same way



Friday, December 2, 2005

The Thief of Hearts

I stumble barefoot across the frozen ground, stubbing my toe on an exposed tree root.  The bitter December air steals my breath away.  I turn in a circle underneath the tree and the full moon illuminates the table and chairs right before I would have tripped over them.  Startled I sit down at one of the chairs and the cold metal bites me through my pajama pants.  I notice the pack of sealed playing cards on the table at the same time that he speaks.  “Hello David”, is all he says as he pulls out the other chair.  Time sits down across from me.  He props himself up in the chair and I admire the gold gilding of his oval frame.  Time is a mirror.  He smiles at me and I think, was I ever that young?  I notice he has a bit of pepper in his teeth, so I clean it away with the edge of a card.  The deck is in my hand, I don’t remember picking it up.  The wind rolls a small piece of cellophane across the table and pulls at the bottom of my tee shirt and I shudder.  Time makes faces at me and I deal out the cards.  Laughing, Time has five cards and I only have three.  It doesn’t seem fair.  He shows me his hand.  The Queen of Hearts has two dogs sitting next to her, she is smiling.  The Queen of Clubs has a bent corner.  The Queen of Diamonds is red-faced and is attended by two mute Pages.  His final two cards are both jokers, he seems to have the winning hand.  I stare at my three cards.  One is a photograph of a little boy crying standing next to his tormenter; his Mother must have taken the picture.  The other card is a scrap of paper torn from a journal with the words “I remember” written across it.  The final card is the Thief of Hearts and I recognize the profile I see printed there.  I look underneath the table for my other two cards but all I see is the frost glittering in the moonlight.  I try to protest the rules of the game, but my voice comes out as a warm vapor that hangs in the air, not a single sound do I utter.  I stare at Time and I wonder how long am I supposed to  just sit here?  Off in the distance I hear a wind chime and I smile.  I fold my hand and deal myself a new set of cards, this game isn’t over yet…

Thursday, December 1, 2005

Mr. Grinch ate a rat pinkie today...

I am scanning in the picture of the letter that Mt. Olive sent me a while back, I forgot to put it in my journal.  Here it is as promised...

I finally heard back from the guy that wanted to use my pic in the fund raising brouchure...

Here is what he wrote in the email...



After many months of back and forth sessions with the Edison-Ford
people, they have decided not to print the brochure.  However the
design was finished and I am attaching a PDF file that shows your
photograph in the layout of the brochure.

Good luck with your new career as professional photographer!

d a n f i n n e y
Dan Finney Design, Inc.


LOL, why do I get so excited about a photo that didn't even get used?  David<~~~~~Nerd!