Tuesday, May 31, 2005

I forgot...

How funny, I received three coupons for free Mt. Olive products...


Remember Kids!


Poetry pays.................................








I'll scan the actual letter in and post it once I move my printer over here to Ray's...


(sung to the tune of "I'm So Pretty")













"I'm so sleepy...

oh so sleepy...

I'm tired,

and grumpy,

and I snore!

I stand to go and close my bedroom door...

::quickly tilts head and laces my fingers together underneath my chin::

LA la la la la la la La la la..."


Monday, May 30, 2005

going to the Movies...

I watched "Love Actually" on TV yesterday and then went to see "Cinderella Man" at the movies.  I am such a sap, lol. 

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Thank you for listening...

Hello my name is David.  I have had wonderful successes in my life, and great failures too.  The funny thing is sometimes you can get them confused.  You can want something so much that you ignore all the warning signs and push forward to it's completion.  You can mourn the loss of a job,  when it's very absence is the catalyst for one of your greatest triumphs.  I am lucky.  I can do better, and I will.  Thank you for listening...


Friday, May 27, 2005

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

My Pap-pa was a Veteran of WWII.  I am very proud of him, and miss him very much!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

I'm editing my old Journal entries and I had forgot about this poem...

poem for today


the day is short

the day is long

my time is now

my time is gone

I see before me

I see behind

I'm out of chances

I'm out of time

I turn to see it

I turn away

I look tomorrow

I look today

to find my love

to find my heart

it's time to quit

it's time to start

so say hello

or say goodbye

I'll never quit

I'll always try







::gazes at myself in the mirror...::




you ARE a handsome one aren't you?





::Laying down on the kitchen floor and flapping my arms and legs::


    David <~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Making linoleum angels





Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Just So...



Just So...


I stumble down these grey grey stairs

I walk across the green green tile

I sit upon the brown brown chair

I turn my computer on just so

I type upon the sad grey keys

I peer through my lush green eyes

I lean against my strong brown knees

I study upon my life just so

I leave behind my sad sad wife

I walk across the lush lush grass

I think about my strong strong life

I begin my day anew just so...



The Mt. Olive people liked the poem...

(this is the Mt. Olive person talking...)

David, thanks for your note, and for your poem. It is dill-lightfull! I'll post it on the bulletin boards here so our employees can enjoy it. To say thanks, we'll send you a few coupons for Mt. Olive products. Just forward your mailing address, and we'll get them out to you.   Thanks for buying Mt. Olive.  


(::shrugs:: lol!)    

::claps hands and dances about::

A major Mall Retailer is flying me out to their Corporate HQ in New Jersey to interview for the St. Louis District Manager position.  Cross your fingers and toes!


Tuesday, May 24, 2005






Things don't have to be nasty

You don't have to be so cruel

I shouldn't expect anything different

and I'm definitly done playing the fool

Things don't have to be nasty

You don't have to make things worse

I really shouldn't be all that surprised

that my family you've started to curse

Things don't have to be nasty

insults are what you love to throw

I'm just going to mind my own business

grab my things, pack up and go

Things don't have to be nasty

you keep repeating your mistakes

always trying to put me down

and my spirit you strive to break

Things don't have to be nasty

and I don't have to put up with you

I'm leaving for a better life

something positive healthy and new

Things don't have to be nasty

but that is all you know

insults threats and anger

who knew you'd stoop so low

So now I'm out of the picture

and who will you insult now

Things don't have to be nasty

but that is all that you know how...



Monday, May 23, 2005

I finished the book I bought the other day.  I read all morning out on Ray's covered back porch.  It was nice and cool and the birds were singing.  I try and distract myself as much as I can.



Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I have to go over to the house and get some things...

I'm heading over to the house and picking up some things.  I need to figure out all the specifics of my China Set, I'm selling it to raise some money and I need the details so I can put the ad in the paper.  Getting divorced sucks, I suggest everyone avoid it at all costs.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

little things can mean so much

Ode to Mt. Olive


I bought a gallon of pickles son

three point seven eight liters worth

these kosher dills make me happy

my fridge shall be their berth

fresh packed from Mt. Olive

on the corner of cucumber and vine

I can't wait to taste one

I know they're mighty fine

I love they way they crunch yes

juice runs down from my chin

I love to eat these pickles boy

they always make me grin

so open up a jar today son

let's hear that jar lid pop

and pass around the pickles boy

eat one and you just can't stop


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pickles...







Monday, May 16, 2005

Too much sad stuff, here are some pictures I took at the Zoo on Saturday Morning

I need to keep my mind busy, I'm going to go mow the lawn now...LOL...I'm calling it Cut Grass Therapy!


I Wander Around Inside My Life

I wander around inside my life

I stumble from place to place

I shuffle through the empty rooms,

barely a member of the human race

I wander around inside my life

I look at things I hold

I shuffle through the empty rooms,

always doing what I'm told

I wander around inside my life

Listening for a bit of hope

I shuffle through the empty rooms,

quietly as I try to cope

I wander around inside my life

I am searching high and low

I shuffle through the empty rooms,

I miss my family so...




Friday, May 13, 2005




today is the day

that yesterday

seemed so far away


tomorrow will be

not so bad for me


the future is wide open...

Now it's real to me...

I hauled some of my stuff over to Ray's house.  I will spend the night here tonight.  I know I have to get a divorce to protect myself, but it still sucks.  It will get better.  I know that in an abstract way...

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I'm a little fuzzy today

Blank space on the wall...


There is a blank space on the wall

where my picture used to be

a lonely nail

pinpointing the space

a negative image

a nothing

There is a blank space on the wall

where my heart used to be

a lonely nail

piercing the space

an image of pain

I feel nothing

There is a blank space on the wall

where my life used to be

a lonely nail

holding me here

stuck in place

wishing it wasn't real

There is a blank space on the wall

where my hope used to be

the little nail

is easy to remove

I toss it in the box

and plan where my picture

will hang again...





the Life of a Bachelor

Howdy everyone!

     Today I was over at Ray's house all day helping Vito (from Palermo, not kidding) install three ceiling fans.  You know that guy that is real handy around the house, imagine him standing next to you.  I'm the guy waving at you from across the county line.  After we were done I swept up and took a nap on the couch. 

     I am so tired lately.  I fear it's official, I'm depressed.  Something woke me out of a sound sleep and I saw a teenager wearing a black tee shirt (and walking like my step-son) and followed by a kindergarden aged little blonde girl passing in front of Ray's house.  My step kids have two relatives living real close to Ray's house.  I was off of the sofa like a shot.  They would have no reason to walk past Ray's house, and I'm thinking, "They want to talk to me".  I bolt out of the door to catch up to them only to discover it is a neighbor man and his daughter walking about.  David<~~~~~~Fool! 

     I am going to miss my step-kids.  Today was not a good day I'm afraid.  And here I sit eating Cheetos and typing on my laptop with 'Yellow 6' stained fingers.  HA!  The life of a Bachelor...


Friday, May 6, 2005

Today is a new day

I have some things I need to do today: set up my own bank account, go talk to some people about a job (a rain soaked buckle), talk to my folks some more.  It'll all work out.  It just sucks that I will not be in a family.  But there are worse things...

Thursday, May 5, 2005

Storm At Sea

     Frantically I stuff my head through the neckhole of the life jacket.  I hook my elbow over the hand railing and fumble for the buckles.  They slip through my rain soaked fingers and the ship lurches again.  Angry streaks of lightning tear across the sky and illuminate the pitching deck.  This is not the first storm I have endured since I signed onboard seven months ago, but it is the worst.  Then the thunder follows and I involuntarily shut my eyes against the audial onslaught.  And I am back in the dark again.  I can feel the sea rushing over my feet as it travels across the deck, we are taking on water.  I move forward holding on to the handrail, feeling blindly in the dark for the lifeboat.  The life jacket blows horizontally in the wind and I snatch at it before it flies away.  White arcs tear across the sky and show me the lifeboat swinging violently in the storm.  Smashing against the ship's cabin, and then back against the handrail.  The thunder comes quicker than I expected and I jump.  The ship moves underneath me while I am airborne and I fall further to the deck than I expect.  I stumble in panic and almost lose my life jacket.  Raindrops run down the curve of my face as I struggle to gain my feet.  I stagger upright as the deck teeters and only my elbow hooked through the railing keeps me from falling into the sea.  In the dark I move forward again towards the life boat.  I have a deathgrip on the handrail.  The lightning stikes close and blinds me.  The thunder is instantaneous and deafens my ears.  Lurching forward with my elbow hooked over the handrail I struggle to snap the life jacket buckles.  A lightning strike far overhead shows me I am close to where the life boat has bent the handrailing.  The thunder rumbles across the storm tossed sea and I move forward.  Sliding my elbow along the handrail I concentrate on the life jacket buckles again, I have to snap them close or I will lose it in the storm.  I slide my elbow along and the railing disappears.  I pinwheel my arms where the railing should be and the ship rocks violently.  I am thrown high into the storm and rain and I have the clearest thought.  "At least I'm not on that ship any more".  For six months I have struggled through storm after storm and it has wore me down.  The uncertainity of the open ocean during a storm is a better option.  I plunge into the sea and the cold takes my breath away.  I am alone in the vast dark ocean.  I sink a bit further into the dark and I am tempted to just let go and allow the crushing weight of the sea to take all my worries away.  The life jacket is caught underneath my chin and it reminds me of hope.  I cling to it and kick for the surface.  It seems to take forever.  I don't think I will make it.  I punch through the surface and exhale a fountain of salt water into the dark air.  I feel it splatter back onto my face and the sea tastes just like tears on my tongue.  Gasping for breath I try again to fasten the buckles on my life jacket.  Lightning shows me that I am at the bottom of a huge trough of water.  The wave crashes over me before I hear the thunder.  The life jacket pops me back upright and I cling to it for dear life.  In a split second I get one of the buckles to clasp and I am relieved at the small victory.  During a lightning flash I race down the face of a storm wave as I embrace my life jacket.   All night long the sea tries to make me give up and quit.  I endure.  In the morning I am bobbing alone on the surface of the ocean.  The ship is nowhere in sight.  It's ok.  I made it through another night.  I can do it again.  I find the morning sun, turn towards home, and begin swimming...

Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Good News - Bad News

Good News: 

We have baby foxes living underneath the barn in the farmyard behind our house!






Bad News:

My marriage is falling apart...