Saturday, September 24, 2016


Mom yelling up to me on the third floor, 
"David, Matthew Barnum is here with TWO girls..."

Me yelling down to the first floor,
"Send up the two girls and 
tell Matthew that I will see him at school!"


Wednesday, September 21, 2016

jus a lil' bit...

die antwoord jus a lil' bit...

"Fatty Boom Boom"

Yo hi-tek, u fink u can fuck wif summing like dis?

Yo what u mean summing like dis?

Ja dat's spif
Yo-landi do dat fing!

Hey fatty boom boom! Hit me wif da ching ching!
Fat pocket klinking! Dollar eye twinkling!
Jeez da beats so chunky! Me'sa getting funky!

Wen I'm on da mic it's like murder murder murder! Kill kill kill!
Wat se zuid afrika? Suig my fokken piel
Hie kom ek weer! Like a lekker smack in face
Rappers r fucking boring ninja bashing dere brainz
What happened 2 all da kool rapperz from back in da day?
Nowawayz all deze rapperz sound exactly da same
It's like 1 big inbred fuck-fest sis!
No I do not wanna stop collaborate or listen
Jimmy jimmy jimmy, hold on 2 yor ching
I'm taking over amerika blowing up everyfing
Physically fit da ninja very energetic
If u haven't got it by now yo you never gonna get it
I whip my dick out an piss on all dis horrible fokken rap
Got a off-shore account 4 da dollar bills dat I stack
Yo fuck rap! I'm sorry my china we not related
I cum mad fresh like da 1st time I ejaculated


Hi my name is...
Yo-landi fokken vi$$er! Fight fight fight!
Kick u in da teef! Hit u on da head wif da mic!
Dere's a rumble in da jungle I'm bubbling 2 da beat
I'm not looking 4 trouble but troublez looking 4 me
My pockets r fokken swollen but nuffing jus cum 4 free
I used 2 beg borrow or steal jus 2 hustle sumfing 2 eat
Souf afrika used 2 b 2 dwankie 2 notice me
Suddenly u interested cause we blowing up overseaz
Making money money money! Yes yes yes!
Zefside represent! U fucking wif da best
I'm a upper! Dwankiez get popped like a sucker
Baka baka! Yipee kaiyay muddafucka!
I'm a big deal! Yo krazy money get thrown at me
Now I'm having so much dat I can't even go 2 sleep!
Yo-landi! Wat? Where u at? Here I am!
Spitting fokken lyrix like bam bam bam!


We keep it lekker lekker lekker zef zef zef!
Spend all my fuckin money till dere's nuffing left
I'm a fat cat keep da change I don't need a slip...
For dis fat sack of dagga yo I'm smoking a splif
In my matt black subaru haters throwing a fit
Round da corner gooi n lekker spif tokyo drift
My daddy told me dere'z a lot of fish in da sea
Dere'z also lot of muddafuckn money, bitchez and weed!
Ja dagga! Dagga! Dagga! Puff puff puff!
Bring da beat back hi-tek... make it ruf!
We drop da type of beats dat make u shut da fuck up an dance!
We drop da type of beats dat got u fuckin stuck in a trance
In da overseaz dey like 2 say u stuck in a trance
We drop da type of beats dat make u fuckin cum in yor pants
Uh! Waarsie fokken dagga? Pass it 2 da left
Lekker z 2 da e 2 da muddafuckn f!


Jeeziz ou! Chill net n bietjie fokken uit!

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

DONALD TRUMP IS A RACIST (and so is everyone that votes for him)

Donald Trump's Father was a member of the KKK. Donald Trump's Father was arrested at a KKK Rally. Donald Trump's Father was sued successfully for Discrimination against Minorities in his Rental Business.
Donald Trump is supported by the KKK. Donald Trump uses Racist Rhetoric. Donald Trump was sued successfully for Discrimination against Minorities in his Rental Business.

Donald Trump is a Racist.

You can vote for Trump.
You just can't call yourself a Christian if you do...

Thursday, August 25, 2016


  1. Even though I have a front fender headlight I still wait till dawn to begin my ride!
  2. Playing on my smart phone means my ride begins 15 minutes AFTER dawn...
  3. Question: Have you ever worried that you may get a ticket for riding in a park before it officially opens?
  4. Early morning fog covering Simpson Park guarantees I ride that section first!
  5. Last week's Sewer Treatment Plant Shutdown guarantees Simpson Lake smells like a 72-acre Porta Potty that hasn't been serviced all Summer...
  6. Question: Have you ever smelled something so bad that you could taste it on your teeth?
  7. Dear Spider #1) Thank You for hanging a dead leaf in your invisible web so I know where not to ride my bike!
  8. Dear Spider #2) YOU SUCK...
  9. Question:  Have you ever rode through a spider web so thick that when you cleaned it off of you it pulled up your shirt?
  10. I love riding my bike early mornings along the almost abandoned Greenway!
  11. I avoid eye contact with The Creepy Guys In Their Pick Up Trucks Near the Park's Restrooms...
  12. Question: Have you ever worried you might look like A Creepy Guy Near The Park's Restroom while waiting for dawn?

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Bill O'Asshat

O'Reilly is an opportunistic asshole that preys on the stupidity of THE WILLFULLY IGNORANT, the hatred of RACISTS and the tunnel vision of THE ONE ISSUE VOTERS.  He makes money off of peddling misinformation to the viewers of FAUX News.

Bill O'Reilly is what is wrong with America...


Thursday, July 21, 2016


Even years
after you 
are free 
you continue 
to tear away 
at yourself...

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Let me translate for you...

When someone starts a conversations with "Well now I'm not a Racist...",
it's translation reads "I hate Black People, but I'm just smart enough to know to deny it"

Want to know how to spot a Racist?

Don't worry, they will tell you...


Missouri Republicans

I am so embarrased to watch the Missouri Politicians Attack ads where they vilify applauding our President and brag on their ability to shoot Military Grade Assault Weapons while using "Moderate" like its a cuss word. Monster Trucks and the WWF have shat out a Sinquefield bastard...

Which is worse?  That the Republican Party thinks Missourians are simple
minded Racists or that most Missourians are not insulted by this?

Sunday, July 10, 2016

The Secret to Dancing

#1 I don't care what you think
#2 I am a slave to the rhythm
#3 And I am not afraid...

(in my head I am always dancing)

Monday, July 4, 2016

Tuesday, June 7, 2016


As a lifelong Democrat I cannot help but chuckle watching the implosion of the National Republican Party.  It's like they go, "Hey let's find the stupidest 4 Republicans we can and ask them who they want us to run for President."  You reap what you sow...

When you court Bigots, Racists and the Willfully Ignorant you get Donald Trump as your Presidential Candidate...

Thursday, June 2, 2016

America is not an ugly place

The Racists and Willfully Ignorant will always try and make America an ugly place.  The good news is that there are not enough Racists and Willfully Ignorant people in America to elect Donald Trump as President.  There is a difference between Republicans and Democrats and that is why I am proud to be an American and a Democrat.  Democrats are not perfect and I continue to fight against the ignorance in my own party, PeTA for instance.  Even with the Democratic Crazies the Republicans will still stand out for their ignorance and hatred.  I'd like to say after the election the Racists and Willfully Ignorant will quiet down, but that is not how they operate.  They will always shout their ignorance and hatred until they die, that is who they are at their core; ugly, UGLY people.  And since that is the base support of the Republican Party, there will not be another Republican in a National Office until they excise their reliance on ignorance and hate...


Monday, April 18, 2016






I love them all, and for exactly the same reason...


Sunday, April 17, 2016

I am David

alone inside my head
i speak the same words
and think the same thoughts

alone inside my head
i remember long ago memories
and relive long ago stories

alone inside my head
is as it always has been
and as it always will be

alone inside my head
I am David
and that is ok

Friday, February 26, 2016

The End of the Republican Party...

I honestly believe we are seeing the end of the Republican Party.  They destroyed themselves by courting greed, Racism and ignorance.  Citizen's United allows the Rich to manipulate the voters and custom pick the candidates who will do as they wish.  20% of the supporters of Donald Trump want to own Black People as slaves.    The Willfully Ignorant only care about punishing sinful women and will vote for anyone who support their desire to yell "SLUT" at unmarried women and scream "BASTARD!" into the faces of little children.  The Republican Party no longer controls their candidates...

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Introducing my newest bike...

a 1965 Schwinn American Cruiser

Monday, August 31, 2015


(this is NOT my video)

Tiffany and I spent 6 days and 5 nights in NYC (Aug 20th to 25th)!  The first four nights we spent at LE PARKER MERIDIEN and the last night at THE PLAZA!  Here are my pictures and videos...

THE PLAZA faces Central Park!

Tif Tif at Le Parker Meridien!

We arrived at Lambert Airport early Thursday morning before the TSA's even showed up.  Loaded the plane successfully and took off without a hitch.  20 minutes later the pilot announced there was an indicator light that 'indicated' there was no oil in one of the engines so we turned around and landed back at Lambert Airport.  1 hour later (and a truckload of oil) we took off again and of course the delay ruined our planned schedule for our 1st day and messed up our plans for the entire trip.  So that is how we ended up seeing all of New York City 'on the fly'.  We walked to MACY's to pick up our Travel Coupons (as a Travel Agent Tif got us into the majority of the NYC Attractions cheaply or for FREE!) and then decided what the heck let's go see THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.  Turns out pretty much every where we wanted to go was within walking distance of LE PARKER MERIDIEN...


Mr. Skyline keeps his eye on NYC...
Step Up

Tourists (I hate "Selfie Sticks")

From the ESB...

From the ESB...
From the ESB...
From poolside atop Le Parker Meridien...

From poolside atop Le Parker Meridien...
I don't remember from on top
of what building I took this one...

From the ESB, NYC Skyline at night...
We planned to see the Observation Decks at both major NYC skyscrapers we were visiting early in the morning and then back again late at night (after sunset).  Stupid American tourists I can take, because at least they can understand directions and commands by Security.  Stupid foreign tourists with English as their second language (IF they understood English at all) really tested my progressive Liberalism.  By the 6th day I was very proud of myself that I had not committed murder.  "David Smith, on the Observation Deck, with the Selfie Stick!"*  Not really sure what to do between the two visits to The Empire State Building we decided to visit The HERSHEY STORE (we already had a custom Hershey Bar from Chicago and wanted to add to our collection).  So Tif punches in our destination into her GPS and off we go.  Dupe De Do, Dupe De Do.  1st Left, Right 2 blocks, Left again then 2nd Right. Come to find out The Hershey Store is in the middle of TIMES SQUARE.  How fun!  After killing time in Times Square we took the elevator to the pool on top of Le Parker Meridien and took lots of pictures...
*from the board game CLUE

 Our second day in NYC we got up early and met our 9-11 Tour Guide at a restaurant called COSI.  He guided us through the NYC Subway System and gave us a guided tour of the 9-11 site and Downtown/Wall Street.

I had a square bagel for breakfast
My Cousin Tim works here,
"Hi Tim!"

9-11 Memorial
On the day that would have been their
Birthday, 9-11 volunteers place a white
Rose next to their name...
St. Paul's Chapel, a Church
near the 9-11 Site
FDNY Ten House,
across from the WTC

I ate at a Food Cart
every single chance I got...
Neighborhood near the WTC

No Day Shall Erase You From The Memory Of Time -Virgil (behind this wall is the Reliquary of the 9-11 Victims)

Destroyed Fire Truck
inside the 9-11 Museum
Me atop Le Parker Meridien!
We ate Dinner at NEW TOPAZ!
    1. Ripped off by a NYC Food Cart Vendor? check! 
    2. Over-tipped a NYC Cab Driver to get me somewhere on time? check!
    3. Spotted a NYC Rat? check!
    4. Accosted by a Times Square Strip Club Barker? check!
    5. Got lost on the NYC Subway System? check!
    6. Forced to listen to vulgar people cuss on the Subway? check!
    7. Smelled Horse Poop on the streets? check!
    8. Smelled Human Poop on the streets? check!
    9. Walked past a Homeless man sleeping on a pile of trash bags? check!
    10. Inconvenienced by clueless Tourists? check!

(a work in progress, more to come)

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Tif & I leave for our NYC Trip on August 20th!

I am very excited!  Tif & I haven't had a 'real' vacation in a long time.  We originally were staying for 5 days but decided to add on another day.  We are staying at Le Parker Meridien for the first 5 nights and at The Plaza Hotel for the last one.  The Plaza is ON Central Park and will be our home base as we spend a day exploring the park.  Le Parker Meridien is centrally located to our activities in NYC and is a really nice Hotel.  While in NYC we will take a boat tour that circles the island, another night time boat tour, a walking tour of the WTC site, visit the WTC museum, go up into The Empire State building in the daytime and after dark, go up into the Rockefeller Building in the daytime and after dark, visit The Statue of Liberty, Coney Island, Times Square, Central Park and we may take a double decker bus tour (daytime/night time depending on time allowed).  We also have a free half day to do whatever we want/ go shopping.  I am VERY excited...


Saturday, March 14, 2015

I just ordered a new set of Patriotic Bunting

I put up two 6" x 3" Patriotic Fans on my balcony railings every year on April 5th.  My original set was sun burned and my upstairs neighbor managed to actually burn a cigarette hole in one, so they needed replacing.  I have a new set on order.  I usually take them down on the 4th of July.